Auto Jokes / Recent Jokes

170
The Cape of Good Hope is located in South Africa
171
Heathrow Airport is located in London
172
The neon lamp was invented by Georges Claude
173
The last letter of the Greek alphabet is Omega
174
The place known as the land of Lincoln is Illinois
175
The US state Utah is also known as the Beehive state
176
The Kalahari desert is located in Africa
177
The Pentagonian desert is located in Argentina
178
The person known as the father of aeronautics is Sir George Cayley
179
The most densely populated Island in the world is Honshu
180
The two nations Haiti and the Dominion Republic together form the Island of Hispaniola
181
The largest auto producer in the USA is General Motors
182
The largest auto producing nation is Japan
183
The famous General Motors company was founded by William Durant
184
The country that brings out the FIAT is Italy
185
The first actor to more...

Q. How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A. One of his fingers is clean.

Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived. One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all. Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. "Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You! Goldblum! The ashtrays in your temple so My people could smoke while the Torah was being read???"Goldblum shuddered.God went on. "I can live with that. Men are weak, but the Word is strong!" Goldblum sighed with relief. "Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat, but really: serving Ham Sandwiches to the devout at the temple during Yom Kippur?" Bauman hung his head in shame. "Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that which is not Kosher. I'm not pleased at all with the playing fast and loose with my people, but I can accept these indiscretions."Bauman also heaved a sigh of relief.Finally, He turns to the third more...

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing football - see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
6. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
7. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "Sex and Candy."
8. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares." and see what happens.
9. Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.
10. Play with the automatic doors.
11. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
12. While more...

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvin ball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to deuls with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially down thin narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volume up to 10!
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete more...

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing Calvin ball; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 6. Challenge other customers to deuls with tubes of gift wrap.7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially down thin narrow aisles.10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens. 11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volume up to 10! 12. Play with the automatic doors. 13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so more...

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