Avrahom Jokes

The best slalom skier in the world
As you may know, in a slalom race the skier must pass through about 20 gates as quickly as possible. Surprisingly, one year Israel had Avrahom, the fastest slalom-skier in the world, and had great expectations for a Winter Olympics gold medal.
The day of the final came, and the crowd waited in anticipation. The French champion sped down the course in 58 seconds. The Swiss was clocked at 58.7 seconds, the German at 61.8 seconds, and the Italian at 61.1 seconds.
Then came the turn of Avrahom. The crowd waited, and waited...and then Avrahom crossed the line in. ....three minutes!
"What happened to you?" asked the team coach when Avrahom finally got back.
Avrahom replied, "Which one of those bastards fixed a mezuzah to each gate?"

RSVP.
Avrahom and Betty were very worried. They had just received an invitation to a very high-class wedding but couldn`t figure out the meaning of the abbreviation RSVP.
"If only our son, the graduate, was here, he`d know," sighed Betty, as she kissed Avrahom good-bye as he left for work.
She pondered the problem all day and finally in a moment of triumph called Avrahom at the shop.
"Darling, I`ve figured it out," she said, "RSVP means Remember Send Vedding Present."