Baggage Jokes

Air travel: Breakfast in London, dinner in New York, luggage in Brazil.

THIS is attributed to Rajaji: Before Indepen­dence, he was arguing with an Englishman about India's freedom. The Englishman retorted,' Look here! We have spent millions of pounds here - building cities, laying roads, railways and canals. We have built dams and barrages, universities, hospitals; opened mines; built ports and harbours, and so on. Do you seriously ask us to pack up bag and baggage and leave India?'
'No said Rajaji,' please leave the bag and baggage behind.'

A dumb list for dumb laws:
Australia
1. Children may not purchase cigarettes, but can smoke them.
2. You may never leave your car keys in an unattended vehicle.
3. It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burglar.
England
1. Those wishing to use a television must apply for a license.
2. It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.
3. Picking up abandoned baggage is as act of terrorism.

Along with banning such dangerous items like shampoo and lipstick, the TSA will also be looking for people with susp*cious behavior as well. Not only will you not be allowed to bring your carry-on baggage, but your emotional baggage as well.
It's even prompted a whole new set of questions for potential passengers:
"Do you have any unresolved issues?"
"Have your issues been in your possesion the entire time?"
"Has anyone asked you carry their issues for them?"

were like Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides; then they jump on and letthe plane coast until it hits the ground again. They then push again, jumpon again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The airport terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 more...