Balloon Jokes / Recent Jokes

A mother balloon is floating arond with her baby balloon. The caring mother tells her child to watch out for the cactus. The baby balloon replies, "What cactusssssssssssssssssssss...?"

A man piloting a hot air balloon discovers he has wandered off course and is hopelessly lost. He descends to a lower altitude and locates a man down on the ground. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, about 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Information Technology" says the balloonist. "Yes I do" replies the man. "And how did you know that?" "Well" says the balloonist, "what you told me is technically correct, but of no use to anyone." The man below says "You must work in business." "I do" replies the balloonist, "how did you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect my immediate help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

Jim is in a hot-air balloon, completely lost. He sees a man in a field below and flies down to him.
"Excuse me sir, but can you tell me where I am?"
The man in the field replied "You're in a balloon."
Jim said "You're an engineer, aren't you?"
"Why yes, I am. How did you know?"
"Because you gave me a perfectly logical, yet completely useless answer."
Jim continued flying, when he saw another man in a field. "Excuse me, sir, but can you tell me where I am?" he asked.
"Well, you're about two miles north of Ogdenville. If you go to the west side of town you'll find an airstrip that you can safely land on."
Jim replied "Thank you very much, sir. That was extremely helpful. Say, I'll bet you're a manager, aren't you?"
"Why yes, I am, how did you know?"
"Because your pants are on backward".

A hot air balloon set out to cross the Atlantic Ocean, navigated by Tom and Brian.

After 41 hours in the air, Tom was feeling a bit lost. "Brian, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are," he said. Brian let out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon dropped to under the cloud cover, where they saw a man on the ground.

"I still can't tell where we are. Let's ask that guy on the ground," said Tom, so Brian yelled down to the man "Hey, can you tell us where we are?" The man on the ground yelled back, "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air." Tom turned to Brian.

"That man must be a lawyer," Tom said. "How can you tell?" asked Brian, to which Tom replied, "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate, and yet totally useless."

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do," replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone." The man below says, "You must work in business as a manager." "I do," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met but now it's my fault."

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts:' Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?' The man below says:' Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.'' You must work in Information Technology' says the balloonist.' I do' replies the man.' How did you know?'' Well' says the balloonist,' Everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone.' The man below says,' You must work in business.'' I do' replies the balloonist,' but how did you know?'' Well,' says the man,' You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault.'

1. Enter the stall. Shower for about 3 minutes, then scream really loudly, exclaiming, "I didn't know I had one of THOSE!"
2. Enter the stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and make sure you clothes get all wet & soapy. Complain when leaving the bathroom that your shirt tends to bleed all over.
3. Ask Scottie to beam you up.
4. Enter the stall, undress and then re-dress up as Superman. Leap out of the stall, vengefully vow to stop Lex Luthor's evil plot, then run full force into the wall. Stand up, shake your head, and proceed to take your
shower.
5. Bring a bottle of fake blood or ketchup into the shower with you. Exclaim "Ow, you know, it really hurts when you pop one of those." Then let the blood/ketchup seep down the drain for all to see.
6. Look over the edge to the person showering next to you, giggle, and then return to your side, whistling the tune "It's a Small World After All."
7. Bring in a rubber chicken. Get it all more...