Balls Jokes / Recent Jokes
>>This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to
>>all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author
>>of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor.
>>
>>Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit).
>>Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform
>>erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate
>>nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be
>>attempted by properly trained personnel.
>>
>>Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining
>>the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder
>>than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon
>>the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using
>>the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off
>>method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. more...
The Rules of Bedroom Golf:
1.Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.
2.Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3.Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
4.For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5.Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6.Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.
7.It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers.
8.Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are more...
A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his brideif he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she willnever open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer hasbeen left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6, 000. She confronts her mate with her findings, and asks for anexplanation. He explains "Every time I was unfaithful to you, I put a golf ball in the drawer." She figures 3 times in 30 years isn't bad. But what about the$6, 000? He explains "Whenever I got a dozen golf balls, I sold' em!"
One day, a man held a contest. The winner would be who could get the most ping pong balls in one day.
The first man comes back with 100.
The second man comes back with 110.
The third man comes back with a whole ton of bruises. The men ask him why he didn't collect any ping pong balls and why he was bruised. He said,
"Ping pong balls? I thought he said King Kong's balls!
There was once a Indian and a Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward more...
An elderly lady from a remote little town went to one of Philadelphia's most fashionable suburbs to visit her niece
and husband. Nearby was a very well known golf course.
On the second afternoon of her visit, the elderly lady went for a stroll. Upon her return, the young niece asked, "Well, Auntie, did you enjoy yourself?"
"Oh, yes, indeed," said Auntie, beaming. "Before I had walked very far, I came to some beautiful rolling fields.
There seemed to be a number of people about, mostly men. Some of them kept shouting at me in a very eccentric manner, but I took no notice. There were four men who followed me
for some time, uttering curious excited barking sounds. Naturally, I ignored them, too. Oh, by the way," she added, as she held out her hands, "I found a number of these
curious little round white balls, so I picked them all up and brought them home hoping you could explain what they're all about."
Things to do at a Bowling Alley
Everytime you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU!!!" continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.
When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy.
Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation.
Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire.
Wear Golf Shoes.
Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices.
Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling.
Play bocci with extra lane balls
Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again
Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened.
Bring full angling gear, ask how they're more...