Balls Jokes / Recent Jokes

How is an ex-husband like an inflamed appendix?
It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn’t need it anyway!

What do men and pantyhose have in common?
They either cling, run or don’t fit right in the crotch!

How do we know men invented maps?
Who else would make an inch into a mile?

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can’t stand criticism.

I went to the County Fair. They had one of those “Believe it or not? ” Shows. They had a man born with a penis and a brain.

What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man’s undivided attention.

What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business?
1. No mind.
2. No business.

Why are men like laxatives?
They irritate the shit out of you.

What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.

When you want a man to play with you, more...

A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro askes her what she wants. "I cant find any green golf balls," the blonde golfer complains. The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls. As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, "Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?""Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!"

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the President of the bank to open a savings account because it's a lot of money.

They finally get her into the presidents office and he asks her how much she would like to deposit. She says she has $165, 000 and then dumps it out of the bag onto his desk. The president was surprised and of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asks her. The old lad says, "I make bets".

The president replies, "Bets? What kind of bets?" and she says, "for example, I'll bet you $25, 000 that your balls are square". "Ha!" says the president, "That's a stupid bet, you can never win that kind of bet".

The old lady says,"So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25, 000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady says more...

You don't need a partner to juggle
Having blue balls isn't a bad thing
Jugglers aren't judged by the size of their balls
Don't have to wear protection
Don't have to worry about how many other people your partner has juggled with
After juggling, you can do it again right away
Easier to keep your balls in the air for long periods of time
Don't need nine months to recover from a mistake
When you finish, your balls are still as hard as when you started
Don't have to worry if your juggling partner is a minor

What do you call a woman who can suck golf balls through a hose? Darling.

Why does a dog lick his balls? Because he can't make a fist.

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest
children?
A: Ask your mom.
Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's
restroom?
A: Say, "Nice dick."
Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be
friends."
Q: What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and
a yeast
infection?
A: An itchy, twitchy twat.
Q: Are birth control pills deductible?
A: Only if they don't work.
Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy
boob?
A: If we don't get some support soon, people are going
to think we're
nuts.
Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have cotton balls.
Q: Mom's have Mother's Day, Father's have Father's
Day. What do single
guys
have?
A: Palm Sunday
Q: Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
A: The closer you get to discharge, the better more...