Bang Jokes / Recent Jokes
What is a cow's favorite TV show? Dr Moo! Why was the farmer hopping mad? Because someone had trodden on his corn! What would happen if bulls could fly? You would have to carry an umbrella all the time and beef would go up! What do you get if a sheep walks under a cloud? A sheep that's under the weather! Why do cows like being told jokes? Because they like being amoosed! What goes 'peck, bang, peck, bang, peck, bang'? A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons! What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig? A groundhog! How do you take a pig to hospital? By hambulance! What do you call a joke book for chickens? A yolk book!
1 2 3 4 get that booty on da floor get nasty get funky spank my monkey choke tha chicken... its fungerlicken good.. just like it should... b please tha keys so i can drive my truck... i can rhyme like a fuckin hen... thats my ho dont cha kno ill cap yo ass pay for gas broken glass in tha past... sreally fast like a car f a mofo u should kno i rap like a pro not to slo dropn bets on feets... slan slang off your wang! bang! bang! capped u fools . got my tools dat dog drools causein pools to spolde in my area cause mass hyst-area aint of ya pissn on tha cat make u fat... shake bay b... big pimpin in tha hood...say wat?! OH HELL NO! pricket pricket get tha golden ticket and shove it in yo ass! SUCKA! PEACE IM OW ZIZZOUT!
The text of the poem is as below:
^"`$$ -
! *=@$ _
%*< ~#4
&((../
|{}, , SYSTEM HALTED
The poem can only be appreciated by reading it aloud, to wit:
Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash,
Bang splat equal at dollar under-score,
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four,
Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH.
Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.
“That’s no problem, son, ” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’. ”
“But what about a bayonet, Sarge? ” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. “Here, use this… just go, ‘Stabity Stab Stab’. ”
The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him. The recruit points the broom, “Bangety Bang Bang! ” The German falls dead.
More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab! ” He mows down the enemy by the dozens. Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him.
“Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit. The more...
One day a blond is getting back from the stor and as she pulls into the drive way she heres aload BANG! and fells somthing hit her head she reach's back and feels somthing soft and mushey in alarm she grabs here head thinking that she had been shot and that that was her brain. as somone gos by they notice her yelling for an ambulance so the man runs and calls an ambulance. when the paramedecs pry her hands from her head they find her cluthching a pice of dough!
Q. How does every ethnic joke start?
A. By looking over your shoulder.
Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle.
"That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang'.
"But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this... just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab'".
The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him. The recruit points the broom. "Bangety Bang Bang!" The German falls dead.
More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens. Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German more...
What goes Clip clop clip clop clip clop BANG clip clop clip clopclip clop? An Amish drive by shooting!