Banta Jokes / Recent Jokes

Banta goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated."
The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse`s ass, and blow the pill up there."
Banta comes back the next day, and he looks very sick.
The vet says, "What happened?"
Banta says, "The horse blew first."

Banta's Son: Dad There Is Some One On The Door 2 Collect Donations
For
A Swimming Pool.
Banta: Give Him A Glass Of Water.

Santa is going out of town and needs to board his horse for a couple of months.
So he asks a local farmer about it and the farmer says, "Sure, but I charge rupess 500 per week, and I keep the manure."
Santa told him that he can't afford this much, so the farmer refers him to another farmer, down the road.
When approached with the request, the farmer said said, "Yup, I can do it for rupees 400 a week, and I keep the manure."
This is still too much for our Santa, and the farmer suggests that he try Banta.
. When our desperate Santa asks Banta, he is surprised to hear, "Sure. I'll be glad to do it for rupees 50 per month."
With delight, Santa exclaimed, "WOW! I suppose for that price you'll want to keep the manure."
Banta looked at Santa with kind of a squint, and says, "For Rupees 50 a month, there ain't gonna be none!"

Santa is sitting at the coffee shop, staring morosely into his coffee.
Banta walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts, he asks Santa what the problem is.
"Well," said Santa, "I ran afoul of one of those questions my wife asks. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."
"What kind of question?" asked Banta.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her if when she was old, fat and ugly." "That's easy," said Banta. "You just say 'Of course I will!"
"Yeah," said Santa, "that's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO.'"

Santa is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused.
Banta comes in and asks Santa, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"
Santa: Some things you just can't explain.
Banta: So what happened that is so horrible?
Santa: Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my buffallo milking her. Just as I go the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over.
Banta: That's not so bad, what's the big deal?
Santa: Some things you just can't explain.
Banta: So then what happened.
Santa: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and kicked it over.
Banta: Again?
Santa: Something's yoy just can't explain.
Banta: So, what did you do then?
Santa: I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right.
Banta: So then what did you do?
Santa: I sat back down more...

Santa and Banta fly to the south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later Santa takes a boat over to the other island to see how Banta is doing. When he gets there, he finds Banta standing among a group of natives.
"Greetings! How is it going?" says Santa.
"Wonderful!" says Banta, "I have discovered an important fact about the local language! Watch!"
He points at a palm tree and says, "What is that?"
The natives, in unison, say, "Umbalo-gong!"
He then points at a rock and says, "And that?"
The natives again intone, "Umbalo-gong!"
"You see!", says the beaming Banta, "They use the SAME word for `rock` and for `palm tree`!"
"That is truly amazing!" says the astonished Santa, "On the other island, the same word means `index finger`!"

Santa is talking to Banta about married life.
"You know," he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there's always that doubt."
Banta says, "Yeah, I know what you mean."
A couple of weeks later Santa has to go out of town on a business tour. Before he goes, he gets together with Banta.
"While I'm away, could you do me a favor? Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on? I mean, I trust my wife but there's always that doubt."
Banta agrees to help out, and Santa leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back and meets Banta, "So did anything happen?"
"I have some bad news for you," says Banta.
"The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away. Later, after dark, the car came back. I saw your wife and a strange man get out. They more...