Banta Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two drunk, Santa and Banta, were walking along a dirt road one day when they came upon a pile of some brown stuff on the ground.
"Is that shit, Banta?" Santa said.
"I don`t really know." Responded Banta as he bent over, "it smells like shit."
Santa leaned in and dipped his finger into the mysterious pile. "It feels like shit!"
Banta too dipped his finger into the mysterious pile and without hesitation shoved the finger in his mouth. "Sure tastes like shit, buddy! I think it`s definitely shit."
"Hooooeee!" Responded Santa, "Good thing we didn’t step in it!"

A man walking down the street came upon Santa and Banta who are trying to measure an up-right pole with a yard stick.
Along comes this really big, musclebound shmuck and says, "Hey, what are you guys doing?"
Santa and Banta say, "We`re trying to measure the height of this pole."
The man wraps his arms around the pole, pulls it out of the ground, lays it down and measures it. Then he picks it up, puts it back in the ground and says, "22 feets," and walks away.
Santa was now quite mad and yelled back, "You idiot we were not trying to see how long it was... I need to know how high it is!

Two guys were roaring down a country road on a motorcycle when the driver slowed up and pulled over.
His leather jacket had a broken zipper, and he told his friend, "I can`t drive anymore with the air hitting me in the chest like that."
"Just put the jacket on backwards," his friend advised.
They continued down the road but around the next bend, they lost control and wiped out.
Banta came upon the accident and ran to call the police.
They asked him, "Are they showing any signs of life?"
"Well," Banta explained, "the driver was until I turned his head around the right way!"

Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck`s going` on? Why are you scared? I was enjoying my ride down there? " Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you`ve got a *driver.* "

Santa and Banta sitting in the bar at Raja Sansi Airport, Amritsar.
"I`ve come to meet my brother," said the Santa. "He`s due to fly in from Canada in an hour`s time. It`s his first trip home in forty years."
"Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the Banta.
"I`m sure I won`t," said Santa, "after all, he`s been away for a long time."
"I wonder if he`ll recognize you?" said the Banta.
"Of course he will," said Santa. "Sure, I haven`t been away at all."

"I`m scared," Banta said to one of his friends. "I got a letter from a guy who said he`d break my legs if I didn`t stop seeing his wife."
"Well," replied his friend, "I guess you`ll have to stop seeing his wife."
"Easy for you to say."
"You like her that much?" the friend asks.
"It`s not that," declared Banta. "He didn`t sign his name!"

Santa was traveling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the Passport size photograph of his son (for college admission).

Accidentally, the photograph fell down from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found the same on the floor of the bus. Politely, he asked the saree clad female, standing in front of him, “Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph. ” The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted in a hospital.

He was surprised to see Banta on the bed next to him, in a still worse condition. Banta started to explain his “Adventure”. He had gone to a remote village on some work & couldn’t finish the work on time. He had missed the last bus from that place. He couldn’t find any Hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the owner whether he could stay there for the night. The Owner replied” I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can’t allow you to stay”. He approached the next house and asked more...