Baptist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A rabbi, a protestant minister and a catholic priest and a baptist preacher were discussing religion.
The rabbi said: "Let's be honest with each other. We all have our vices. For instance, I'm not supposed to eat ham or pork - but i love them!"
The protestant minister said, "Well, I do have one vice - I like to drink. In fact, I get pissed from time to time."
The catholic priest said, " I'll be honest. I like girls. I like to get laid at least once a week."
They looked at the baptist preacher. "Haven't you got any vices?" they asked.
"Well, only one," he said. "I like to gossip!"

A man who thought he was John the Baptist was disturbing the neighborhood, so for public safety, he was committed.He was put in a room with another crazy and immediately began his routine, "I am John The Baptist! Jesus Christ has sent me!"The other guy looks at him and declares, "I did not!"

I'm John The Baptist A man who thought he was John the Baptist was disturbing the neighborhood, so for public safety, he was committed.
He was put in a room with another crazy and immediately began his routine, "I am John The Baptist! Jesus Christ has sent me!"
The other guy looks at him and declares, "I did not!"

Three ministers were playing golf. A Baptist, a Methodist and a Jewish Rabbi. There was a group ahead of them who were very slow players. All three ministers were really griping about this. The caretaker heard the ministers belly aching and told them the players ahead were blind. The Baptist preacher said he was repentant and would confess his sins. The Methodist minister said the same thing. The Rabbi spoke up boldly and said,
" Looks to me like they would make them play at night."

God, Jesus and John the Baptist are playing golf up in heaven. On the first tee, JB leads off and hits a big blast right down the gut; it rolls to a stop about 270 yards out, perfect lie. Jesus steps up next and kills the ball, sending it about 300 yards straight away, perfect lie.
God steps up and waggles and wiggles and then badly hooks his ball into the trees. As it flies in, a huge oak is struck by lightning and splits, one half falling into the path of the oncoming ball and knocking it into the fairway. As it comes to a rest, a bare 50 yards out, a squirrel darts out of the woods on the other side and grabs the ball and takes off towards the left-side woods. Before he gets in, an eagle swoops down and grabs the squirrel, carrying it aloft down the fairway. Just as it passes over the green, the eagle is pelted by hailstones, whereupon it drops the squirrel (still clutching the ball) onto the green about three feet from the hole. Dazed, the squirrel spits the ball out where it more...

Q. What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?
A. They both have the same middle name - THE

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife" What type of bra?" asked the clerk. "Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?" "Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk. Confused, the man asked what the types were. The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?" Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?" The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."