Barber Jokes / Recent Jokes
The barber was foaming the man up for a shave, when the man mentioned the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.
The barber took a small wooden ball out of a nearby drawer, handed it to the man and said, "I have just the thing for that. Place this between your cheek and gum."
The man did and the barber proceeded to give him the closest shave he had ever experienced.
After a couple of stokes, the man asked in garbled speech, "What if I swallow it?"
"That's no problem," the barber replied. "Just return it tomorrow like everyone else does."
Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in? Customer: No. Barber: Oh dear! Then I must have cut your throat.
The Barber
A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got
his haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, "No
charge. I consider it a service to the Lord."
The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 prayer
books and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door.
Later that day, a police officer came in and got his hair cut. He
then asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider
it a service to the community."
The next morning, he came to work and there were a dozen donuts and
a thank you note from the police officer.
Then, a Senator came in and got a haircut. When he was done he asked
how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a
service to the country."
The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 Senators
in front of the door.
The BarberA priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he gothis haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, "Nocharge. I consider it a service to the Lord."The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 prayerbooks and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door.Later that day, a police officer came in and got his hair cut. Hethen asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I considerit a service to the community."The next morning, he came to work and there were a dozen donuts anda thank you note from the police officer.Then, a Senator came in and got a haircut. When he was done he askedhow much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it aservice to the country."The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 Senatorsin front of the door.
Harry went in to see his barber to find out whether he had any suggestions on how to treat his increasing baldness.
After a short pause, the barber leaned closer and whispered, "The best thing that I've discovered is, um, well, um, female juices."
"But you're much balder than I am," protested Harry.
"That's true," agreed the barber, "but you must admit, I have one hell of a mustache!"
A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves.
A few days later, the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop full of customers and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves.
A week later, the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop an says, "About an hour and half." The guy leaves.
The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes." In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop laughing hysterically.
The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?"
Bill looked up and said, "To your house."