Barking Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course... at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

Visitors: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. Extra points if you can gently grab their hands. They love that.

Licking: Always take a big drink immediately before licking humans. They prefer clean tongues. During the human’s dinner time, when you are in the same room is the best time to give yourself a full body bath. The louder you are the cleaner they think you are.

Sniffing: Humans like to be sniffed…. Everywhere. It is your duty as the family dog to accommodate them and anyone that you meet. Crotch sniffing will always get their attention.

Holes: If digging is a must do not dig one big hole (to noticeable). Rather, dig many smaller ones all over the yard as they will blend in and may not get noticed. Dogs with human gardeners are required to give their human a paw and help dig up anything growing in their garden.

Housebreaking: This is very more...

1. It's not a laugh to practice barking at 3a. m. 2. It's wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her. 3. He shouldn't jump on your bed when he's sopping wet. 4. The cats have every right to be in the living room. 5. Barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is stupid 6. Getting up does NOT mean we are going for a walk 7. Just because I'm eating, doesn't mean you can. 8. If you look at me with those big soppy eyes, I'm not going to give in and feed you. NOT NOT NOT. Oh, ok, just this once. 9. No, it's my food.... Oh alright then, just a small piece.

Once there was a man, whose servant didn't remember anything properly. One day in that man's house there was a robbery.
The man told his servant to inform the police that- Last night, the stars were shining, dogs were barking, one thief came and took my master's cow.
The servant went to the police station and said- Last night, the dogs were shining, the stars were barking, one cow came and stole my master's thief.

Once a man was coming home he saw the stars were shining, the dogs were barking at a thief who came and broke the wall and drove off. After sometime when the police arrived they asked the man what happened he said the stars were barking the dogs were shining a thief came and broke the car and drove the wall the police said from where you were coming he said from the doctor.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? - The dog. Hell shut up once you let him in.

Your dog's barking at the back door. Your wife's barking at the front. Who do you let in? Well, it's your call... but the dog'll stop barking when you let him in.