Baseball Jokes / Recent Jokes
I just want to chase him through Howard Beach onto the Belt Parkway.
What takes longer, running from first base to second, or from second to third?Second to third, because you have to go through a shortstop.
TOP 10 REASONS BASEBALL IS BETTER THAN SEX...
10. It is legal to play professionally
9. You can count on it at least 4 times a week
8. You have a coach to tell you when to advance
7. When you are tired, you always get relieved
6. If you strike out once, you still have at least 2 more times to get a hit
5. Up to 4 people can score at once
4. Pop ups are frequent
3. 30,000 people cheer when you score
2. After 7 innings, you get to stretch
1. You can get a homerun without any foreplay
A man is walking down the street when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says CRUISES - $100. He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. The travel agent then whacks him over the head with a baseball bat and throws him in the river. Another man is walking down the street a half hour later, sees the sign and pays the guy $100. The travel agent then whacks him with the baseball bat and throws him in the river. Sometime later, the two men are floating down the river together and the first man asks, "Do you think they'll serve any food on this cruise?" The second man says, "I don't think so. They didn't do it last year."
Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven. One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond."Bob, Is that you?" Earl asked."Of course it me," Bob replied."This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed. "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?""Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?""Tell me the good news first.""Well, the good news is that yes there is baseball in heaven, Earl.""Oh, that is wonderful! So what more...
A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door. Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the closet, with the little boy.
The little boy says, "Dark in here." man says, "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?" Boy - "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy - "Dark in here." Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball glove." The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?" Boy - "$750" Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and more...
Dr. Kevorkian was realeased from a Michigan prison Friday after serving an 8 year sentence for second degree murder.
The proponent of assisted suicide for the termially ill maintained his stance saying he still believes a quick death is better than a long slow painful death for those with no hope.
Dr. Kervorkian has been contacted by the New York Yankees