Baseball Jokes / Recent Jokes

A person reviewing people in an insane asylum walks around and is pleased with what he sees. He starts to review patients to see what they will do when they get out.

He walks up to the first guy and sees him throwing a football around. He automatically knows that he wants to be a football player.

He walks up to another guy and sees him throwing a baseball around. He could automatically tell that he wanted to be a baseball player.

He walks to the next cell and sees a man with his dick in a bowl of peanuts. He flips out and asks what he is doing. The man replies "I'm fucking nuts, I'm never getting out of here!"

Woman who go to man's apartment for snack, gets tit-bit. Man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth. Man who gets kicked in balls, left holding the bag. Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face. Passionate kiss like spider web. .. lead to undoing of fly. Man with hole in pocket, feel cocky all day. Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night. Virginity like balloon. .. one prick, all gone. Girl who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town. Man who farts in church, sits in own pew. Baseball all wrong. .. man with four balls no can walk. Man who live in glass house, dress in basement. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing. Man with penis in peanut butter jar is fucking nuts. Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok. Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time. Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent. Woman who fly upside down, have crack up. Man who go to bed with question of sex on mind wake up with more...

Despite the struggles in the banking industry, the Mets will still keep Citi Field as the name of their new ballpark. Mainly because they're hoping they can get a bailout for their bullpen.

You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road.
They stopped and discovered a nude female dead drunk. Out of respect and propriety, the Cubs fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Yankee fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.
The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the Cubs cap, replaced it, and wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the Sox cap, replaced it, and wrote down some more notes. The officer then lifted the Yankees cap, replaced it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, and replaced it one last time.
The Yankee fan was getting upset and finally asked, "What are you, a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?"
Well," said more...

Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets titbit. Man who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth. Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag. Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face. Passionate kiss like spider web--lead to undoing of fly. Man with holes in pocket, feels cocky all day. Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night. Virginity like balloon--one prick, all gone. Girls who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town. He who farts in church, sits in own pew. Baseball all wrong--man with four balls can't walk. Man who live in glass house, dress in basement. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing. Man with penis in peanut butter is fucking nuts. Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok. Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time. Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent. Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand

Alex Rodriguez apologized for his steroid use, and expects fans to forgive him, especially since he’s never used any in October. By owning up to his past indiscretions, Rodriguez has shown he's smarter than Barry Bonds. Then again, a single celled amoeba nursing a hangover is also smarter than Barry Bonds.