Basement Jokes / Recent Jokes

Buy A Dumpster, Paint It Gray And Live In It For 6 Months Straight.
Run All Of The Piping And Wires Inside Your House On The Outside Of The Walls.
Pump 10 Inches Of Nasty, Crappy Water Into Your Basement, Then Pump It Out, Clean Up, And Paint The Basement "Deck Gray." Repeat.
Every Couple Of Weeks, Dress Up In Your Best Clothes And Go The Scummiest Part Of Town, Find The Most Run Down, Trashy Bar You Can, Pay $10 Per Beer Until You're Hammered, Then Walk Home In The Freezing Cold.
Perform A Weekly Disassembly And Inspection Of Your Lawnmower.
On Mondays, Wednesdays, And Fridays Turn Your Water Temperature Up To 200 Degrees, Then On Tuesday And Thursday Turn It Down To 10 Degrees. On Saturdays, And Sundays Declare To Your Entire Family That They Used Too Much Water During The Week, So All Showering Is Secured.

Game Show Set Recreated in White House Basement

President George W. Bush has sought answers on Iraq from Ken Jennings, the champion of the popular game show "Jeopardy," White House aides confirmed today.

Mr. Bush first came to believe that Mr. Jennings might have the answers on Iraq when he saw the game-show whiz on television earlier this summer, telling aides, "That there is the smartest man in the world."

After contacting Mr. Jennings, White House aides began constructing a mock-up of the "Jeopardy!" set in the basement of the White House and enlisted "Jeopardy!" host Alex Trebek to reprise his usual role.

Instead of the usual potpourri of "Jeopardy!" questions, however, the special White House edition had only categories that pertained to the crisis in Iraq, such as "ANGRY SHIITES," "RUPTURED OIL PIPELINES," and "MASSIVE POWER OUTAGES."

According more...

You've reached my mom's basement, where I continue to live, despite the fact that I am in my mid-40's.
I have no life.
[BEEP]

Three men walk into a bar and the barman says, ''If you can sit in my basement for a day I'll give you free beer forever.'' So the first man says, ''Easy. I can do that.'' But he walks out after five minutes and says, ''It's impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there.'' So the second man tries his luck, but can't take more than 10 minutes. Finally the third man goes in and comes out a day later. The others ask him how he did it. He said, ''Easy. I took a dump in one corner and sat in the other corner!''

A man worked at a gas station out in the middle of nowhere. One day when he was driving home from work, he ran out of gas (how ironic). So the man walks and walks and eventually he comes upon a monastery.
He asks a monk at the monastery, "Can I stay here over night? My car ran out of gas."
The monk replies, "You may; but you musn't come out of your room between the hours of 12 midnight and 6 am."
The man replies, "That's fine with me." The monk takes him to his room, and the man falls asleep.
About 12 midnight the man is roused from his sleep by a horrible groaning noise that was coming from the basement. He gets out of his bed to see what it is, but remembers the monk saying that he couldn't leave his room between 12 and 6 am. The groaning keeps the man awake all night long until it finally stops at 6.
The next morning the man asks the monk from yesterday, "What was that racket coming from the basement?"
"I can't more...