Bass Jokes / Recent Jokes
What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
Gifted.
Why do bands have bass players? To translate for the drummer.
Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car? It took two hours to get the drummer out.
NEW AUSSIE SLANG DICTIONARY, 2002 AEROPLANE BLONDE
One who has bleached or dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
AUSSIE KISS
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BADLY PACKED KEBAB
A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia
BEER COAT
The invisible, but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze
cruise at 3 in the morning.
BEER COMPASS
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a
booze cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live,
how you got there, and where you've come from.
BRUCE LEE
Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).
BUDGIE'S TONGUE or SMALL MAN IN A BOAT, or TONGUE PUNCHBAG The female erection.
DOUBLE BASS
A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her
Budgie's tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing the double bass more...
I was walking down the street one day, when I saw this guy strangling a little kid.
"What's going on here?" I asked.
"I was playing bass in that club," says the guy, "and this little punk ran in and twisted one of my tuning pegs."
"That's horrible," I said, "but it's no reason to brutalize him."
The guy replied, "Well, he won't tell me which one he messed with!"
Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist? A: He turned a peg and wouldn't tell the bass player which one.Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one - but the guitarist has to show him first.Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Six. One to change it, five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.Q: Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car? A: It took him four hours to get the bass player out.Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. The piano player can do that with his left hand. The annoying drumsThis guy goes on vacation to a tropical island. As soon as he gets off the plane, he hears drums. He thinks "Wow, this is cool." He goes to the beach, he hears the drums, he eats lunch, he hears drums, he goes to a luau, he hears drums. He tries to go to sleep, yet he hears drums.This goes on for several nights, and gets to the point where the more...