Bass Jokes / Recent Jokes

What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw? Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still. orIt's easier to improvise on a chainsaw.

Knock Knock Who's there! Bass! Bass who? Bass the salt and pepper please!

Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist? A: He turned a peg and wouldnt tell the bass player which one.

What is the dynamic range of the bass trombone? On or off.

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
* Forgetting strap $10
* Changing strings after every set $15
* Using electric tuner $15
* Setting up mic "just in case" $75
* Forgetting to turn amp on $40
* Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
* Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
* Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
* Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
* Skull decals on bass $150
* Bringing fretless bass $500

One day the bass player hid one of the drummer's sticks. The drummer said, "finally! After being a drummer for so long, now I am a conductor!"

Q: What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: What does a drummer say when he gets to his paying gig?
A: "Do you want fries with that?"
Q: What do you say to a drummer in a 3-piece suit?
A: "Will the defendant please rise..."
Q: What do you call a drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q: Why do drummers have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
A: So they don't disgrace themselves in the parade.
Q: How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you?
A: You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground.
Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A: You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once.
Q: Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
A: he had to break the window to get the drummer out!
Q: Why do drummers leave their drumsticks on the dashboard?
A: So they can park in the more...