Batter Jokes / Recent Jokes

A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring run.... run!

The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"

A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"

The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up yelling "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused.

A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whisper, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls." After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!!"

A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country, and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring, "Run.... run!" The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent, "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!" A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams, "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!" The next batter holds his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk. The Scotsman stands up yelling: "R-r-run ya Bahstard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans chuckle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whispers, "He doesn't have to run, he got four balls." The Scotsman yells even louder, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!"

A recent Scottish immigrant to the U. S. attended his first baseball game. After a base hit, he heard the fans roaring, "Run... run!" The next batter connected heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stood up and roared with the crowd in his thick accent, "R-r-r-un yah bahstard. R-r-run!" A third batter slammed a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screamed, "R-r-r-un ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya." The next batter's count went to three and two. As the next pitch went outside the plate, he held his swing. The umpire called a walk and the Scotsman stood up yelling, "R-r-r-un ya bahstard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans giggled quietly and he sat down, confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispered, "He didn't have to run, he's got four balls." After this explanation the Scotsman stood up in disbelief and screamed, "Walk PR-R-ROUD, man! Walk Proud!"

Q. Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A. Because they can't get their head in the jar.
Q. What's a blonde's favorite wine?
A. "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"
Q. What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A. A wine cellar.
Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on her.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for french fries.
Q. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A1. 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2. Three... one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
A3. Two... one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.
Q. Why don't blondes double recipes?
A. The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
Q. Why don't blondes breast feed?
A. Because they always burn their nipples.
Q. Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A. Because they can't more...

A Scottish tourist attended his first baseball game in the US and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring "Run.... Run!"
The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"

A third batter hits a slam and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"

The next batter steadfastly holds his swing four times and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up and yells "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run!"

All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispers to the Scotsman, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls."

After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!!"

A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring "Run....run!"
The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"
A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"
The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk. The Scotsman stands up yelling: "R-r-run ya Bahstard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans chuckle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whispers, "He doesn't have to run, he got four balls."
"Walk with pr-r-ride man!"

Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties. A2: Three.. . one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit. A3: Two.. . one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.