Beans Jokes / Recent Jokes
>THE EPIC OF THE BAKED BEAN
>
>Once upon a time there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked
>beans. He loved them, he adored them, he yearned for them. But they always
>caused him a great deal of embarrassment shortly after eating them. The
>reaction of his body to the beans was swift and terrible to behold.
>
>One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they
>would marry, he realized she might be even more embarrassed and humiliated
>by his addiction to baked beans. He decided to make the supreme sacrifice
>and give up his beloved baked beans. A short time later they were married.
>
>Some months later, on his way home from work, his car broke down. He was
>not too far from home so he decided to leave the car and walk the rest of
>the way. He passed a small roadside cafe and decided to call his wife and
>tell her that he would be late for supper. As he entered the cafe, more...
THESE ARE REAL NOTES FROM A REAL CHILLI COOK OFF
Notes from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the east coast:
"Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event:
Chilli # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
Chilli # 2: more...
what is the difference between people and jelly beans
nothing everybody hates the black ones
ADAM & EVE
One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn't
find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were
earlier. Adam said, "This morning Eve and I made love for the first time."
God said, "Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve
now?"
Adam replied, "She's down at the river, washing herself out."
"Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell funny."
THE EPIC OF THE BAKED BEAN
Once upon a time there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked
beans. He loved them, he adored them, he yearned for them. But they always
caused him a great deal of embarrassment shortly after eating them. The
reaction of his body to the beans was swift and terrible to behold.
One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they
would marry, he realized she might be even more embarrassed and more...