Beep Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Juggle the fruit.
2. Wedge things in all the freezer and refrigerator doors, stopping them from closing all the way.
3. Purchase a live lobster and turn it loose in the store.
4. Shake all the sodas.
5. Have shopping cart races down the aisles.
6. Dump the tray of food samples into your purse.
7. Talk to the fresh fish.
8. Pop the champagne bottles.
9. Hold a bowling tournament in the aisles, using canteloupes for bowling balls and pineapples for bowling pins.
10. "Accidentally" drop a jar of pickles and walk away quickly.
11. Fill a shopping cart with items such as kleenex, diapers and toilet paper and leave it in the cereal aisle.
12. Talk to your Aunt Mildred, using a banana as a telephone.
13. Throw a party.
14. Fall alseep in a shopping cart in the middle of an aisle.
15. "Drive" your shopping cart up and down the aisles while making race car noises.
16. Try to auction off a grapefruit.
17. more...

(lick your finger and then touch her shirt). Here, let me help you out of those wet clothes.
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
I'm not sure if I'm gay. Will you help me find out?
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
So, howzabout the two of us going back to my place and you run your fingers through the hair on my back?
Hi! Can I buy you a car?
Bond. James Bond.
Wasn't it you who pinched me in the third grade?
I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.
(Hand out a card that says) "Smile if you want to sleep with me" and then watch them try and hold back their laughter.
(Again hand out a card that says) Here I am, madly in love with you, on the verge of killing myself for your love and I don't even know your more...