Beliefs Jokes

A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. They run out of gas and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer says that there are only two extra beds, so one person will have to sleep in the barn.

The Hindu says,' 'I'm humble, I will sleep in the barn.'' So, he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu and he says,' 'There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow.''

So, the Rabbi says,' 'I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn.'' A few minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and it's the Rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and there is a pig in the barn.

So, the lawyer is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door. It's the pig and the cow...

The Family Research Council, the nation's #1 "family values" organization, is holding a "Values Voters Summit" to support political candidates who share their, "beliefs and values."
To celebrate this occasion, I would like to affirm my beliefs:
- I believe in capital punishment, and since I was a former teacher, I believe in starting it at the 8th grade level.
- I believe in the right to life-that the fetus has the same rights as we do, and that it should have to stand in line at the Dept. of Motor Vehicles like the rest of us.
- I believe that everyone should abstain from sex before marriage, because only after marriage can one truly realize the horrible mistake they have made.
- I believe in the sanctity of marriage, and that gay people should be able to get married because they deserve to have their sex life destroyed just like everyone else.
- I believe that no man should be able to dress like a woman because there are plenty more...

A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a telemarketer are in a car. They run out of gas and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer says that there are only two extra beds, so one person will have to sleep in the barn.

The Hindu says, "I'm humble, I will sleep in the barn." So, he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu and he says, "There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow."

So, the Rabbi says, "I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn." A few minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and it's the Rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and there is a pig in the barn.

So, the telemarketer is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door.

It's the pig and the cow...

A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. They run out of gas and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer says that there are only two extra beds, so one person will have to sleep in the barn.The Hindu says,' I'm humble, I will sleep in the barn.' So, he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu and he says,' There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow.'So, the Rabbi says,' I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn.' A few minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and it's the Rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and there is a pig in the barn.So, the lawyer is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door. It's the pig and the cow...

A Hindu, a Rabbi and a lawyer were out driving in the country late one night when their car broke down. Setting out on foot to find help, they came upon a farmhouse and explained their problem to the farmer. The farmer said they could spend the night but, since he only had two beds, one of them would have to sleep in the barn.
The Rabbi agreed to sleep in the barn and allow the other two to have the beds. Minutes after the Rabbi left for the barn, there was a knock on the bedroom door. The Rabbi burst into the bedroom and exclaimed, "I cannot sleep in the barn. There's a pig in there! It is against my religious beliefs to sleep in the same room as a pig."
The Hindu agreed that he would sleep in the barn, since he had no religious problems with pigs. A few minutes later, the Hindu came bursting into the bedroom and said, "I cannot sleep in the barn. There is a cow in there! Sleeping in the same room as a cow is against my religious beliefs."
The lawyer, more...