Believing Jokes / Recent Jokes
When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!
Hennessy wasn't a very good looking fellow to start with. Now his business had failed, and his wife and family had left him. Depressed and distracted, he was standing near the edge of the bridge, contemplating suicide. Suddenly, he sensed that someone was behind him, and turning around he saw an ugly little old leprechaun. "Don't jump," she said, and I'll grant you three wishes." "Right," he said. "my first wish is to have $100,000." She said, "When you check your account, you will find that you are in credit to that amount." He then said, "My second wish is to have my wife and children back." She said, "They will be there when you get home." He said, "My third wish is to be tall and handsome." She said, When you look in the mirror, you will find that your wish has been granted." Then she added, "I want you to do something in return for me. I want you to kiss me." He looked at her and shuddered more...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answers below...
AL GORE
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now.
I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road!
I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.
GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road.
I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide.
The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.
SENATOR LIEBERMAN
I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God in his or her own way.
Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her own way.
SECRETARY CHENEY
Chickens are big-time because they have wings.
They could fly if they wanted to.
Chickens don't more...
Believing in predestination, a new father set out three objects on the dining room table in preparation for his son's arrival home from school. The first object was a £100 note. "That represents high finance. If he takes this, he's go into business." The second object was a Bible. "If he takes this one, he'll be a man of the cloth." The third object was a bottle of cheap whiskey. "If he goes for this one, he'll be a drunkard!" The father and his wife then hid where they could see their son's approach. Soon, the son entered the room and examined each article briefly. He then checked to make sure that he was alone. Not seeing anyone, he stuffed the money in his pocket, put the Bible under his arm, and strolled out of the room draining the whiskey. The father looked at his wife and beamed, "How about that! He's going to be a lawyer!"