Belt Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy and his wife were speeding down the interstate when a state cop pulls him over. The man says, "What's the problem officer?
Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."
Man: "No sir, I was going 65."
Wife: "Oh Harry, you were going 80." Man gives his wife a dirty look.
Officer: "I will also give you a ticket for your broken tail light."
Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light"
Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for months." Man gives his wife a dirty look.
Officer: "I will also give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt."
Man: "Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."
Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt."
Man turns to his wife and yells, "Bitch, shut your damn mouth"
The Officer turns to the woman and says, "Ma'm, does your husband talk to more...

King Arthur was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those horny knights of the Round Table. So he went to Merlin for some advice. After explaining his predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful, and said that he'd see if he could come up with something, and asked him to come back in a week.
A week later King Arthur was back in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt... except that it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.
"This is no good, Merlin!" the king exclaimed, "Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?"
"Ah, sire, just observe." said Merlin as he searched his cluttered work bench until he found what he was looking for. He then selected his most worn-out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He then inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down more...

Q: Where is Spiderman's home page?
A: On the world wide web.
Q: Why is Superman stupid?
A: Because he wears his underwear over his pants.
Q: Why is Batman more stupid?
A: Because he wears his underwear over his pants and puts on a belt over his underwear.
Q: Why is Robin even more stupid?
A: Because he followed what batman did.
Q: Why is Wonder Woman stupid?
A: Because she wears a belt on her head.
Q: Why is Spiderman the most stupid superhero of them all?
A: Because he wears his underwear over his head.

In days of old, when knights were bold, this particular knight was leaving for a crusade and called one of his squires, "I'm leaving for the crusade.
Here is the key to my wife's chastity belt. If, in 10 years, I haven't returned, you may use the key as I'm sure she will have needs"
The knight sets out on the dusty road, armored from head to toe. He takes one last look at his castle and sees the squire rushing across the drawbridge, yelling, "Stop! Stop!
Thank goodness I was able to catch you. This is the WRONG KEY."