Bench Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two beggars are sitting on a park bench outside a church on a Sunday morning. They are both dressed in rags, each is holding a top hat, the one has a large cross around his neck and the other a large Star of David. After church, the congregants file out, each placing money in the hat belonging to the beggar with the cross while ignoring the beggar with the Star of David. Soon the hat of the beggar with the cross is overflowing with money while the other beggar's hat remains empty.
A priest who has been watching this approaches the bench and says to the beggar with the Star of David around his neck "My son, surely you realize you are in a Christian country, in a Christian neighborhood, on a Sunday morning, sitting outside a church? How can you possibly expect anyone to give you any money, especially since you are wearing a large Star of David around your neck?"
On hearing this the beggar with the Star of David around his neck turns to the other beggar and says more...

Two beggars are sitting on a park bench outside a church on a Sunday morning. They are both dressed in rags, each is holding a top hat, the one has a large cross around his neck and the other a large Star of David. After church, the congregants file out, each placing money in the hat belonging to the beggar with the cross while ignoring the beggar with the Star of David. Soon the hat of the beggar with the cross is overflowing with money while the other beggar's hat remains empty.
A priest who has been watching this approaches the bench and says to the beggar with the Star of David around his neck "My son, surely you realize you are in a Christian country, in a Christian neighborhood, on a Sunday morning, sitting outside a church? How can you possibly expect anyone to give you any money, especially since you are wearing a large Star of David around your neck?"
On hearing this, the beggar with the Star of David around his neck turns to the other beggar and says, more...

Two beggars are sitting on a park bench outside a church on a Sunday morning. They are both dressed in rags, each is holding a top hat, the one has a large cross around his neck and the other a large Star of David. After church, the congregants file out, each placing money in the hat belonging to the beggar with the cross while ignoring the beggar with the Star of David. Soon the hat of the beggar with the cross is overflowing with money while the other beggar's hat remains empty. A priest who has been watching this approaches the bench and says to the beggar with the Star of David around his neck "My son, surely you realize you are in a Christian country, in a Christian neighborhood, on a Sunday morning, sitting outside a church? How can you possibly expect anyone to give you any money, especially since you are wearing a large Star of David around your neck?" On hearing this the beggar with the Star of David around his neck turns to the other beggar and says "Moshe, more...

Two beggars are sitting on a park bench outside a church on a Sunday morning. They are both dressed in rags, each is holding a top hat, the one has a large cross around his neck and the other a large Star of David. After church, the congregants file out, each placing money in the hat belonging to the beggar with the cross while ignoring the beggar with the Star of David. Soon the hat of the beggar with the cross is overflowing with money while the other beggar's hat remains empty. A priest who has been watching this approaches the bench and says to the beggar with the Star of David around his neck "My son, surely you realize you are in a Christian country, in a Christian neighborhood, on a Sunday morning, sitting outside a church? How can you possibly expect anyone to give you any money, especially since you are wearing a large Star of David around your neck?"On hearing this the beggar with the Star of David around his neck turns to the other beggar and says "Moshe, can more...

Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!'.The other woman turned to her and said "I know! I heard it snoring!"

Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy
bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across
from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good
for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat."

Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

Little Johnny answered, "Naw, he minded his own damn business."

The day after Halloween, Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th candybar one man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little Johnny answered, "No, he but he knew how to mind his own business!"