Benefits Jokes / Recent Jokes

Obesity has been getting a lot of bad press recently. Research conducted entirely by thin people, has uncovered justification for their own masochistic obsessive-compulsive, fun-killing anal retentative lifestyles.One of the great problems with research, of course, is that the researchers tend to find what they're looking for. And when they find it, they stop looking for other things. It's important, therefore, not to believe research by pressure groups that start with preconceived ideas.Examples of findings not to believe: research on the benefits of exercise by phys. Ed. Department, on the hazards of cholesterol by an anorexic and on the joy of obesity by an overweight G. P. The whole obesity phobia was started by some statistics from a life insurance company purporting to show that people who were overweight didn't live as long as people who were underweight. These were very raw figures and led to some unwarranted conclusions.First, it was assumed that if the overweight group lost more...

Top 10 Benefits of a White House Internship
First-hand knowledge of domestic affairs
Pay is lousy, but the hush money is great
Gives new meaning to MTV slogan ''Rock the Vote''
Observe the President's commitment to young people
first hand
Learn intricacies of statutory rape law
Have President chase around desk brandishing his
'subpoena'
President tells you he really wants you on his staff
Try out JFK's legendary rocking chair
Have President introduce you to his 'special
investigator'
Find out what a politician means when he says he's
been polling his constituents

Reaching the end of the job interview, the interviewer asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The candidate responded confidently, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package,"
The HR person said,"Well, what would you say to a benefits package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two year - say a red Corvette?"
The graduate sat up, mouth agape and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer responded,"Of course... but you started it !"

On their 45th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

"Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"

Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and many great other qualities that you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."

A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee's pay.She said, "My last employer had full health coverage, as well as five year's salary for life insurance and a month's sick leave AND they paid the full premiums.""I can't help but ask why you would leave a job with such benefits,"
the interviewer replied.The woman shrugged her shoulders and said, "The company went bankrupt."