Beverly Jokes / Recent Jokes
ON COURAGE: "They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind." -- Cindy Crawford
ON SELF-KNOWLEDGE: "Everywhere I went, my cleavage followed. But I learned I am not my cleavage." -- Carole Mallory
ON POVERTY: "Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery." -- Beverly Johnson
ON FATE: "I wish my butt did not go sideways, but I guess I have to face that." -- Christie Brinkley
ON ARRIVING: "Because modeling is lucrative, I'm able to save up and be more particular about the acting roles I take." -- Kathy Ireland (star of Alien From L. A. and Danger Island)
ON CAREER CHOICES: "My boyfriend thinks I lost my true calling to be a librarian." -- Paulina Porizkova
ON PRIORITIES: "I would rather exercise than read a newspaper." -- Kim Alexis
ON more...
James and Beverly Jenkins had been married for twelve years when they mutually agreed to end it and get divorced. After the divorce was granted, that same day, as they stood facing each other for what could be the last time, James asked Beverly if she would mind him asking one last question. "Not at all, go right ahead," she replied." Well, their is one thing that has always bother me. We have five kids with brown hair but youngest one, little Jimmy, has blonde hair. So, please tell me, whose kid is Jimmy?" "I just can't tell you, James. The answer would hurt you too much." "I'll be fine. Now that we're divorced, finding out whoever Jimmy came from can't hurt me too much." "Well, if it's that important to you... Jimmy is your child."
he following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Los Angeles Times, November 24:Banning, Blythe and Barstow no longer qualify as "distressed" cities under federal guidelines, nor do Adelanto, Lake Elsinore, or Loma Linda.But Beverly Hills does.According to a new U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development list, Beverly Hills can apply for about $56 million a year in business development grants reserved for small cities suffering "physical and economic distress."
he following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Los Angeles Times, November 24: Banning, Blythe and Barstow no longer qualify as "distressed" cities under federal guidelines, nor do Adelanto, Lake Elsinore, or Loma Linda. But Beverly Hills does. According to a new U. S. Department of Housing and Urban Development list, Beverly Hills can apply for about $56 million a year in business development grants reserved for small cities suffering "physical and economic distress."
James and Beverly Jenkins had been married for twelve years when they mutually agreed to end it and get divorced. After the divorce was granted, that same day, as they stood facing each other for what could be the last time, James asked Beverly if she would mind him asking one last question. "Not at all, go right ahead," she replied.
"Well, their is one thing that has always bother me. We have five kids with brown hair but youngest one, little Jimmy, has blonde hair. So, please tell me, whose kid is Jimmy?"
"I just can't tell you, James. The answer would hurt you too much."
"I'll be fine. Now that we're divorced, finding out whoever Jimmy came from can't hurt me too much."
"Well, if it's that important to you...Jimmy is your child."