Biggest Jokes / Recent Jokes

Which astronaut wears the biggest helmet? The one with the biggest head.

Your biggest ambition in live is to "git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn..."
You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.

(as submitted to www.dilbert.com)
I had to get up at 4:00 a.m. to pack, then take two 70-pound boxes along to the airport. I checked them in, then sat on the plane for an hour before takeoff. Just after we were in the air, I realized that I left my car in front of the airport doors (loading zone).
I work for a TV news network. A co-worker left keys in our van at the airport. The van and $200,000 worth of equipment mysteriously vanished.
Flew to Hartford, arrived midnight. Rental car not reserved. Took a cab to hotel, room not reserved. Went to client next day. They were expecting someone else. My Pointy-Haired Boss had sent me by mistake. Flew home.
Trip to Microsoft labs in Redmond WA. Travel booked to Redmond Oregon, middle of nowhere. No car, no hotel, no MS lab!
When arriving at our hotel in Miami, PHB informs me that he has booked only one room for both of us. He says it's more cost effective that way.
The maid set off the fire sprinkler in my hotel more...

Drinking and driving is the biggest cause of vehicle damage in the world. Special effects are a close second.

01
The first Prime minister of Bangladesh was Mujibur Rehman
02
The longest river in the world is the Nile
03
The longest highway in the world is the Trans-Canada
04
The longest highway in the world has a length of about 8000 km
05
The highest mountain in the world is the Everest
06
The country that accounts for nearly one third of the total teak production of the world is Myanmar
07
The biggest desert in the world is the Sahara desert
08
The largest coffee growing country in the world is Brazil
09
The country also known as "Country of Copper" is Zambia
10
The name given to the border which separates Pakistan and Afghanistan is the Durand line
11
The river Volga flows out into the Caspian sea
12
The coldest place on the earth is Verkoyansk in Siberia
13
The country which ranks second in terms of land area is
Canada
14
The largest island in the Mediterranean sea is more...

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of a few boys about 10 years of age, surrounding a dog. Concerned that the boys were hurting the animal, he went over and asked them what they were doing.
One of the boys replied, "This dog is an old neighborhood stray. We take him home with us sometimes, but only one of us can take him home. So we're having a contest: whichever one of us tells the biggest lie can take him home today."
Of course, the Reverend was shocked. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a 10-minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
There was complete silence for about a minute. As the Reverend smiled with satisfaction that he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh. "All right," he said,
"give him more...

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.
The first bull says, "Boys, as we all know, I've been here for 5 years. Once the three of us settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I have no idea where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I ain't' givin' him any of mine."
The second bull says, "That's pretty much the way I see it too. I've been here for 3 years and feel I have earned my right to the 50 cows we've agreed are mine. I'll fight 'im till I run him off or kill 'im, but I'M KEEPIN' ALL MY COWS."
The third bull says, "I've only been here for a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to 'take care of'. Although I may not be as big as you fellows yet, I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY cows."
Suddenly, an eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the more...