Biggest Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life. "Hey Roadway driver whos the two biggest poofs in America?" comes from the CB. The Roadway driver replies. "I dont know". The other trucker says " You and your brother ". Well the Roadway driver gets all annoyed but the other driver tells him "Its just a joke - tell it to the next truck you see."Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour an finally sees another truck. he gets on the CB and says " Hey other truck do you know who the two biggest poofs in the world are?"The other trucker says " I dont know who?"The roadway driver replies " Me and my brother"

Q. What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
A. Male fraud.

"Similarities between presidents Richard Nixon and Bill Clinton":

Nixon: Watergate Clinton: Water Bed

Nixon: His biggest fear: the Cold War Clinton: His biggest fear: a Cold Sore

Nixon: Carpet bombing Clinton: Carpet burns

Nixon: His Vice President was a Greek Clinton: His Vice President is a geek

Nixon: Couldn't stop Kissinger Clinton: Couldn't stop kissing her

Nixon: Couldn't explain the 18-minute gap in the Watergate tape Clinton: Couldn't explain the 38-DD bra in his briefcase

Nixon: His nickname was Tricky Dick Clinton: No difference

Nixon: Ex-President Clinton: Sex-President

Nixon: Known for campaign slogan "Nixon's The One" Clinton: Know for women pointing at him and say "He's the one"

Nixon: Famous for his widow's peak Clinton: Famous for bringing widows to their peak

Nixon: Well acquainted with G. Gordon Liddy Clinton: Well more...

(as submitted to www.dilbert.com)
I had to get up at 4:00 a.m. to pack, then take two 70-pound boxes along to the airport. I checked them in, then sat on the plane for an hour before takeoff. Just after we were in the air, I realized that I left my car in front of the airport doors (loading zone).
I work for a TV news network. A co-worker left keys in our van at the airport. The van and $200,000 worth of equipment mysteriously vanished.
Flew to Hartford, arrived midnight. Rental car not reserved. Took a cab to hotel, room not reserved. Went to client next day. They were expecting someone else. My Pointy-Haired Boss had sent me by mistake. Flew home.
Trip to Microsoft labs in Redmond WA. Travel booked to Redmond Oregon, middle of nowhere. No car, no hotel, no MS lab!
When arriving at our hotel in Miami, PHB informs me that he has booked only one room for both of us. He says it's more cost effective that way.
The maid set off the fire sprinkler in my hotel more...

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15 Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. --Age 13 It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends. --Age 8 Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. --Age 10 Home is where the house is. --Age 6 I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween. --Age 13 I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as popular a singer as some people think he should be. Then, I remember it's because he sucks. --Age 15 For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found more...

As everyone knows, everything is bigger in Texas. The roads are bigger, the
trees are bigger, and the wide open spaces are, well, wider. Texans wear
the biggest hats, the biggest boots, and drive the biggest cars.
One day, a Texan died and went to heaven. He was met at the pearly gates by
none other than St. Peter, who proceeded to give him a tour of the wonders
of heaven.
The Texan, however, was not impressed. St. Peter showed him the most
beautiful rivers, and the Texan said that they were bigger in Texas. St.
Peter revealed to him the majesty of mountains, but the Texan reminded him
that they were just as good, if not better, back in Texas. St. Peter showed
him the glory of the stars (they shine brighter in Texas), the enormity of
the sunrise (you haven't seen it until you've seen it in Texas), and the
simple wonder of a doe and a fawn drinking at a lake at sunset (reminiscent
of Lake Texarkana, only not as pretty). more...

Q: What's the biggest problem for an atheist?
A: No one to talk to during a orgasm.