Bike Jokes / Recent Jokes
On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop said to the kid, "Nice bike you've got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The kid said, "Yeah."
The cop said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike."
The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid took the ticket, but before he rode off he said, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humouring the kid, the cop said, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
Men are like bike helmets. They are handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
10 year old Johnny's mother, who was a hard working single mom, had been promising for some time now to buy poor Johnny a bike. Johnny, who loved his Momma dearly, hadn't made a big deal about it for a long time, but suddenly decided NOW was the right time to ask. So he rushes downstairs to tell his Momma that he wanted his bike and he wanted it now. He gets downstairs, looks around, doesn't see his mother, so he rushes back upstairs, opens the door to his mother's room and stops dead in his tracks,' cause there was his Momma, laying stark naked on her bed, rubbing herself all over repeating " Oh, I need a man, Ohhh I need a man." Johnny, who was naturally a little stunned by the sight, backs quietly out the door and goes back to his room. Well, a few days passes and Johnny works up the nerve to once again tell his Mother that he wants his bike and he wants it NOW. So he rushes downstairs, doesn't see his mother, he rushes upstairs, opens Momma's door and there once again more...
Several months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny walked by his mother's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man! I need a man!"
During the course of the couple of months, Johnny observed her doing this several more times.
One day, when he arrived home from school, he heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom he saw that there was a man on top of her.
Little Johnny quickly ran to his room, stripped off all his clothes, threw himself on his bed and began stroking himself and moaning, "I need a new bike! I need a new bike!"
A little boy just got a brand new bike for Christmas and was riding down it down the street. He stopped at a red light next to a Police Officer on a horse.
The Police Officer asked the boy "Did Santa bring you that new bike?" the boy replied "Yes!"
"It looks like Santa forgot to put reflextors on the back of your bike" said the Police Officer, "The next time I see you there better be reflextors on your bike!" said the Police Officer.
The little boy replied "Yes Sir".
"Officer, can I ask you a question?" said the little boy.
"Yes", said the Officer.
"Did Santa bring you that horse?" asked the boy.
"Yes he did!" said the officer.
"Oh, if I ever get a horse I'm going to ask Santa to put the dick under the horse instead of on top!!!" said the boy.
A little boy just recieved a new bike for christmas.As he was riding down the street with much excitement a cop comes up to him on a horse.
The cop says hello, is that a new bike, yes the boy replies, did you get it from santa, yes i did,
well i am going to have to write you a ticket the cop says because you dont have a light reflector, and that is a safety hazard.The cop said so maybe next year you should ask santa for a reflector.
The boy replies thats a nice horse you have there
did you get it from santa, yes i did the cop replies, well maybe next year you should ask santa to put the dick on the bottom of the horse instead of on the top.