Bikini Jokes

an old man went to a beach and say a sexy girl in a bikini. he went up to her and asked her"can i feel your sexy, juicy boobs?"
The girl said, "no way, get away from me old man."
the guy said," twenty dollars?"
"no"
"one hundred dollars?"
"no"
"two hunderd dollars?"
"no"
"five hundred dollars?"
the girl thought, what harm can it do? "sure"
the girl loosened her bikini and the man slipped his hand in her bikini.
while feeling her sexy, juicy boobs, the guy said, "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD"
the girl said,"why do you keep saying OH MY GOD?
while continuing feeling her sexy, juicy boobs, he said "OH MY GOD, where am i going to get five hundred dollars?"

Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery.

Presently, a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight toward them. They couldn't help but stare.

As she passed them she turned, smiled, and said: "Good morning father, good morning father." Nodding and addressing each of them individually.

They were both stunned; how in the world were they recognized as priests?

They went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits and again they settled on the beach in their chairs more...

A 16-year-old girl bought herself a very tiny bikini. Very proud, she came home and put it on. She then showed her mother how she looked in it.
"What do you think mom?" she asked.
Her mother replied, "If I wore that when I was your age, you would be 5 years older."

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb.They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine, and the scenery, when a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare. As the blonde passed them, she smiled and said, "Good morning, Father," "Good morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by.They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests? The next day, they went back to the store, and bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud, you could hear them before you even saw them.Once again, they more...

An old man on the beach said to a beautiful girl in a bikini, "I want to feel your breasts!"
"Get away from me, you crazy old man!" she replied.
"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars," he said.
"Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!"
"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you $100!" he stated.
"NO! Get away from me!"
"$200", he offered.
She paused to think about it, but then comes to her senses and said, "I said NO!"
"$500 if you let me feel your breasts," he claimed. She thought, well he is old, and he seems harmless enough... and $500 IS a lot of money... "Well, OK... but only for a minute."
She loosened her bikini top and while both are standing there on the beach, he slid his hands underneath and began to feel. Then he started saying, "OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD..." while he was caressing more...