"Oh my God" joke
an old man went to a beach and say a sexy girl in a bikini. he went up to her and asked her"can i feel your sexy, juicy boobs?"
The girl said, "no way, get away from me old man."
the guy said," twenty dollars?"
"no"
"one hundred dollars?"
"no"
"two hunderd dollars?"
"no"
"five hundred dollars?"
the girl thought, what harm can it do? "sure"
the girl loosened her bikini and the man slipped his hand in her bikini.
while feeling her sexy, juicy boobs, the guy said, "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD"
the girl said,"why do you keep saying OH MY GOD?
while continuing feeling her sexy, juicy boobs, he said "OH MY GOD, where am i going to get five hundred dollars?"
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.
ur momma so fat that whenever she went to get her blood drawn the results came back gravy.
your momas so fat when she steped on a scale the scale said o shit i want ur weight not ur fone number