Bikini Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini - "I want to feel your breasts" he exclaimed.
"Get away from me, you crazy old man" she replied.
"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars," he says.
"Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!"
"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS" he stated.
"NO! Get away from me!"
"TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS" he offered.
She paused to think about it, but then comes to her senses and says, "I said NO!"
"FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS if you let me feel your breasts," he exclaimed.
She thought, well he is old, and he seems harmless enough... and $500 IS a lot of money... "Well, OK... but only for a minute."
She loosened her bikini top and while both are standing there on the beach, he slid his hands underneath and began to feel... then he more...

An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini -
"I want to feel your breasts" he exclaimed.
"Get away from me, you crazy old man" she replied.
"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars," he says.
"Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!"
"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS" he stated.
"NO! Get away from me!"
"TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS" he offered.
She paused to think about it, but then comes to her senses and said, "I said NO!"
"FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS if you let me feel your breasts," he claimed.
She thought, well he is old, and he seems harmless enough...and $500 IS a lot of money....
"Well, OK...but only for a minute."
She loosened her bikini top and while both are standing there on the beach, he slid his hands underneath and began to feel... then he started more...

A shapely lady in a bikini walked into the ocean to take a swim. A large wave came up and washed over her, tearing off her bikini top. She came out of the surf with her arms folded across her chest.
Lil' Johnny, playing in the sand looked up at her and said, "Lady, if you're going to drown those puppies, I'll take the one with the brown nose."

Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
The next morning, the two priests went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight toward them. They couldn't help but stare but when she passed them she turned to them, smiled and said, "Good morning, Father; good morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by. They were both stunned - how in the world did she recognize them as priests?
The next day, the two priests went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits - these were so loud, you could hear them more...

An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini -"I want to feel your breasts" he exclaimed."Get away from me, you crazy old man" she replied."I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars," he says."Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!""I want to feel your breasts, I will give you ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS" he stated."NO! Get away from me!""TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS" he offered.She paused to think about it, but then comes to her senses and said, "I said NO!""FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS if you let me feel your breasts," he claimed.She thought, well he is old, and he seems harmless enough...and $500 IS a lot of money...."Well, OK...but only for a minute."She loosened her bikini top and while both are standing there on the beach, he slid his hands underneath and began to feel... then he started saying, "OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD..." while more...

Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, and etc.
The next morning they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare and when she passed them, she smiled and said, "Good morning, Father" - "Good morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by.
They were both stunned. How in the world did she recognize them as priests?
The next day they went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits-these were so loud, you could hear them before you even saw more...