Birdseed Jokes

In The United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B19293, Judge Lance Ito, PresidingWile E. Coyote, Plaintiff-vs. - Acme Company, DefendantOpening statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district, and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result of the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, more...

A blonde walked into the pet store and, after looking up and down the aisles, asked the sales clerk for help. “I’d like a box of birdseed, ” said the lady. “For which kind of bird? ” he asked helpfully. “Oh, I dunno, ” she replied. “Whichever will grow the fastest. ”

A blonde walked into the pet store and, after looking up and down the aisles, asked the sales clerk for help.
"I'd like a box of birdseed," said the lady.
"For which kind of bird?" he asked helpfully.
"Oh, I dunno," she replied. "Whichever will grow the fastest."