Bite Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?
A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!
Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood....good thing he didn't say two!
Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS.
For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants it to be held in Earie, PA.
New Tyson burger: There is a piece of the champ in every bite!!!
They are making a new boxing term for Tyson....instead of KO, it will be a Van Gogh. "Evander was Van Gogh'd in the third!!!"
Can't beat um...Eat um!!!
If Tyson fights Golatta, is it more points for a low blow or an ear bite?
In this corner Evander "the Real Meal" Holyfield!!!
Before the fight, Mike's trainer told him to get a piece of Holyfied. Oops, bad advice.
Iron BITE Tyson, the heavyweight CHOMP of the world!

A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?""No."A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg."I thought you said your dog didnt bite!" the man says indignantly."Thats not my dog."

Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight? A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!! Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood....good thing he didn't say two! Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS. For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants it to be held in Earie, PA.New Tyson burger: There is a piece of the champ in every bite!!! They are making a new boxing term for Tyson....instead of KO, it will be a Van Gogh. "Evander was Van Gogh'd in the third!!!"Can't beat um...Eat um!!! If Tyson fights Golatta, is it more points for a low blow or an ear bite? In this corner Evander "the Real Meal" Holyfield!!! Before the fight, Mike's trainer told him to get a piece of Holyfied. Oops, bad advice.Iron BITE Tyson, the heavyweight CHOMP of the world!

On the third day I was dust, ordinary common dust like you see on a country road in a dry spell, nothing expected of me, me expecting nothing neither.
On the sixth day he comes along and blows. "In my own image too", he says, like he was doing me a favor.
Sometimes I think if he'd waited a million years by then I'd been tired maybe being dust but after only two, three days, what can you expect? I wasn't used to being dust and he goes and makes me into Man.
He could see right away from the expression on my face I didn't like it so he's going to butter me up. He puts me in this garden only I don't butter.
He brings me all the animals I should give them names What do I know of names? "Call it something," he says, "anything you want," so I make names up lion, tiger, elephant, giraffe - crazy but that's what he wants.
I'm naming animals since 5 AM, in the evening I'm tired I go to bed early, in the morning I wake up, there she is sitting by more...

A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?" "No." A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg. "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly. "That's not my dog."

Santa and Banta were hiking in the woods when Santa is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I`ll go into town for a doctor," Banta says. He runs 10 miles to a small town and finds the town`s only doctor, who is busy delivering a baby. "I can`t leave," the doctor says. "But here`s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little `x` where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." Banta runs back to his friend, who is in agony. "What did the doctor say?" Santa asks. "He says you`re gonna die."

Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on humans! Except for cats that eat like people - such as getting lots of table scraps - most cats are long and lean (or tiny and petite). the Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte figure. Just follow this diet for one week and you’ll find that you not only look and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what constitutes food. Good Luck!

DAY ONE
Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as long as it cost more the. 75 per can - and place 1/4 cup on your plate. Eat 1 bite of food; look around room disdainfully. Knock the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall for awhile before stalking off into the other room.
Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up on the cleanest carpet in your more...