Bite Jokes / Recent Jokes
One night a man decides to visit his local bar. He takes a seat and orders a beer. After polishing off his beer, he beckons the bartender over and says, "Betcha $20 I can bite my eye." The bartender scoffs and accepts. The man then calmly removes his false eye and bites it. The bartender grudgingly forks over a twenty.
Later that night, after a few more beers, the man wanders back to the bar and says rather drunkenly, "Hey barkeep, betcha another $20 I can bite my other eye." Wanting to win back his money and seriously doubtful that the man has two false eyes, the bartender accepts. The man calmly removes his false teeth and bites his other eye. Scowling, the bartender hands over another twenty. The man leaves and wanders around the bar as he drinks a few more beers.
He strolls back over to the bar, leaning on it, again and calls the bartender, "Hey, barkeep," he burbles, "I'll give you a chance to win yer money back plus. Betcha $100 if you more...
Our dog jokes are a chuckle and will leave you in stitches! What's the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and a woman yelling on the back porch? The dog quits barking when you let it in! We got a lot more funny jokes about dogs, so check these out.
Why are dogs such bad dancers?
They have two left feet.
"Some plants," said the teacher, "have the prefix "dog. For instance, there is the dogrose, the dogwood, the dogviolet. Now name another plant prefixed by' dog'."
"I can," shouted a little redhead from the back row, "Collieflower!"
There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch.' 'Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?'' a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and replied,' 'Nope.'' As soon as the tourist stepped out of his car, the dog began snarling and growling, and then attacked both his arms and legs. As the tourist more...
A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. “Does your dog bite? ”
“No. ”
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
“I thought you said your dog didn’t bite! ” the man says indignantly.
“That’s not my dog. ”
A policeman bitten by a dog came for treatment to the Safdarjang Hospital. He asked the pharmacist, "Arey bhai! Kuttey katne kee davaa dena - brother give me medicine for dog bite."
The pharmacist asked him, "Santree jee! Aap ko bhee kuttey nay kaat liya - how did a dog bite a policeman?"
The constable replied, "To tell you the truth, I was not wearing my uniform at the time."
CHOCOLATE By John Scalzi Chocolate is God's way of reminding men how inadequate they are. I am vividly confronted with this fact every time my wife and I go out to a restaurant. When it gets to dessert, my wife usually orders the most chocolate-saturated dessert possible: It's the one called "Unstoppable Double-Fudge Chocolate Mudslide Explosion" or some such thing. I always wonder why anyone would want to eat anything that promises a catastrophic natural disaster in your mouth. The dark brown monstrosity arrives at the table, and my wife takes the first bite. Before the fork is even removed from her mouth, a small moan escapes her lips. Her eyes, previously perfectly aligned, first cross slightly and then faze completely, pupils dilating in pure chocolate pleasure before the eyelids clamp down in ecstasy. The hand not holding the fork clenches into a fist and starts pounding the table. The silverware rattles. After about six minutes of this, she finally manages to swallow more...
A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?"
"No."
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.
"That's not my dog."