Blah Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That depends on the wage rate.
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
Q: How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. "Well it's not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of...(blah blah waffle)"
Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One liberal and twenty eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities.
Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first one's knee from jerking.
Q: How many more...
A man was walking along a Florida beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it, and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month, and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"
The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly, and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!!
Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete -- how much steel!! No, think of another wish."
The man said, "OK, I'll try to think of a really good wish."
Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four more...
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I `m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish! The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I `ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I `m scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That `s impossible. think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete. . how much steel!! No, think of another wish!" The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish.
Finally, he said, "I `ve been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don `t care and that I `m insensitive. So, I wish more...
What a woman says:
This place is a mess! C'mon,you and i need to clean up, your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!
What a Man Hears:
blah,blah,blah,blah,C'MON
blah,blah,blah,blah,YOU AND I
blah,blah,blah,blah,ON THE FLOOR
blah,blah,blah,blah,NO CLOTHES
blah,blah,blah,blah,RIGHT NOW!
Ten most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations and some matching replies.
At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Q: Hey, what are you doing here?
A: Well, it's so hot, there were no cool cabs so I thought I'd watch some advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.
In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Q: Sorry, did that hurt?
A: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia... Why don't you try again or should I try this time?
At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Q: Why, why him, of all people?
A: Why? Would it rather have been you?
At a restaurant:When you ask the waiter...
Q: Is the "blah blah blah" dish good?
A: No, its teribble and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit into it...
At a family get-together.When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Q: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big...
A: Well you more...
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"
The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete -- how much steel!! No, think of another wish."
The man said "OK, I will try to think of a really good wish". Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always more...
What a woman says: "This place is a mess C'mon, you and I need to clean up.
Your stuff is lying on the floor, and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!"
What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah,
C'mon blah, blah, blah, blah,
you and I blah, blah, blah, blah,
on the floor blah, blah, blah, blah,
no clothes blah, blah, blah, blah,
right now !