Blank Jokes / Recent Jokes
How many times have you heard the comment that people have to take a test to
drive a car, but anyone can be a parent? A test is needed. And not one with a bunch of Bozo questions like 'How many servings of vegetables are required for a three-year old female living in Boise who walks 4.3 miles a day?' No, this test will ask the REAL questions. Are you ready to find out if you have the right stuff to be a parent in the 90s? Get those number two pencils ready. And let's keep our eyes on our own papers, people.
Section One: Mathematics
For each problem, estimate the total number of times
this phrase is used per parent per week. (2 points per question)
I don't care what the other kids get to do.
... and this time I really mean it.
Somebody's going to get hurt doing that.
See, I told you somebody was going to get hurt doing that.
Now we're REALLY going to be late.
One... I'm counting... two... I'm counting...
Because I'm the Mommy more...
Several years ago we had an intern who was not very swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary.
"I'm almost out of typing paper," he said. "What do I do?"
"Just use copy machine paper," she said to him.
With that, the intern took his last remaining piece of blank typing paper, put it in the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies!
Another twist to this would be to distribute fifteen blank keys to male friends of the bride-to-be and two more blank keys to a guy and a very old lady. Then, during the reception, while people are making toasts, announce to everyone that since the bride is no longer available, any guy with a key to her apartment should turn it in at the tray that has been set up, whereby the fifteen pre-selected men would walk up and turn in their keys and make the same announcement for the groom, whereby both the old lady and the other guy would both walk up with their key.
16 Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
( _ ) Champak
( _ ) Indrajal
( _ ) Star and Style
( _ ) The great Punjab Dairy
( _ ) Blank sheets
17 How often do you bathe:
( _ ) Weekly
( _ ) Monthly
( _ ) Yearly
( _ ) Not Applicable
18 Color of teeth:
( _ ) Yellow
( _ ) Brownish-Yellow
( _ ) Brown
( _ ) Black
( _ ) N/A
19 Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
( _ ) Manikchand
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JALANDHAR BOARD COLLEGE EXAM QUESTION PAPER...........
(this one's little difficult than last year's)
1. Write your name in less than 20 minutes and 20 letters ________________________
(only alphabets allowed, no numeric digits or "_" allowed)
2. Sex?
( ) Male
( ) Female
( ) Sardar
3. What's ur age group?
( ) less than 0
( ) equal to 0
( ) greater than 0
4. What is 2 + more...
One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions.
"Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher.
"Nope. I haven't," said the dumb jock. "Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."
A priest, seeing a blank signboard hanging on a lamppost wrote upon it: "I pray for all."
A Solicitor wrote underneath: "I plead for all."
A doctor added: "I prescribe for all."
A simple citizen wrote: "I pay for all."
Several weeks ago, we hired a new blonde secretary who wasn't thebrightest crayon in the box. One day when she was typing, she turnedto another secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use the copier machine paper," the other responded. With that, the blonde took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on thephotocopier, and proceeded to make five blank copies.