Blank Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. What is height of Fashion?

- Dhoti with a zip.

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2. What is height of Secrecy?

- Offering blank visiting cards.

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3. What is height of Active laziness?

- Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

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4. What is height of Craziness?

- Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

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5. What is height of Forgetfulness?

- Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

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6. What is height of Stupidity?

-A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

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7. What is height of Honesty?

- A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

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8. What is height of Suicide?

- A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the more...

I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. I inquired as to what she was doing and she said she was shopping on the internet, and they asked for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I worked with an individual who plugged the power strip back into itself and for his life couldn't figure why the computer would not turn on.- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened."2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded more...

Hear about the guy who played a blank tape at full blast.The mime next door went nuts.

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the Black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says,' I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds Her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the Suit fits him perfectly.
She says to the mortician,' Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To Her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says. No, more...

Several weeks ago, we hired a new blonde secretary who wasn't the
brightest crayon in the box. One day when she was typing, she turned
to another secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What
do I do?"
"Just use the copier machine paper," the other responded. With that,
the blonde took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
photocopier, and proceeded to make five blank copies.

The official year 2000 Redneck Census Form:
Last name: _______________________ First name: (Check appropriate box) (_)Billy-Bob (_)Billy-Joe (_)Billy-Ray (_)Billy-Sue (_)Billy-Mae (_)Billy-Jack
What does everyone call you? (_)Booger (_)Bubba (_)Junior (_)Sissy (_)Other____________
Age:____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex:____ M ____ F ____Not sure
Shoe size:____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:(Check appropriate box) (_)Farmer (_)Mechanic (_)Hair Dresser (_)Unemployed (_)Dirty Politician (_)Preacher
Spouse's Name:_____________
2nd Spouse's Name:_______________
3rd Spouse's Name:_______________
Lover's Name:_______________
Relationship with spouse:(Check appropriate box) (_)Sister (_)Brother (_)Aunt (_)Uncle (_)Cousin (_)Mother (_)Father (_)Son (_)Daughter (_)Pet
Number of children living in the home:_____
Number of the children living in the shed:_____
Number that are yours:_____
Mother's Name:____________________(If not sure, leave more...

The official year 2000 Redneck Census Form:Last name: _______________________First name: (Check appropriate box)(_)Billy-Bob(_)Billy-Joe(_)Billy-Ray(_)Billy-Sue(_)Billy-Mae(_)Billy-JackWhat does everyone call you?(_)Booger(_)Bubba(_)Junior(_)Sissy(_)Other____________Age:____ (if unsure, guess)Sex:____ M ____ F ____Not sureShoe size:____ Left ____ RightOccupation:(Check appropriate box)(_)Farmer(_)Mechanic(_)Hair Dresser(_)Unemployed(_)Dirty Politician(_)PreacherSpouse's Name:_____________2nd Spouse's Name:_______________3rd Spouse's Name:_______________Lover's Name:_______________Relationship with spouse:(Check appropriate box)(_)Sister(_)Brother(_)Aunt(_)Uncle(_)Cousin (_)Mother(_)Father(_)Son(_)Daughter(_)PetNumber of children living in the home:_____Number of the children living in the shed:_____Number that are yours:_____Mother's Name:____________________(If not sure, leave blank)Father's Name:____________________(If not sure, leave blank)Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade more...