Blond Jokes / Recent Jokes

There were these two Canadians vacationing in Mississippi. On
the highway they pass a sign that says you are now entering
Cashinaflash. The two get into a fight about how to pronounce it
as they decide to stop for lunch.
They walk into a resteaunt and go up to the blond cashier and
say, "Before we order I want you to slowly pronounce the name of
this place." The blond leans over the counter and says,
"Buuurrr-guurrr Kiiiinnnggg."

A blond had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes officer, I'm just fine!" the blond chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blond began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your more...

An exhausted looking blond dragged himself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."
"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over."
"Great," the blond answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."
A few weeks later the blond returned, looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!"
"I don't understand how that could be," said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!"
"That may be true," answered the blond wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!"

One day a burnette and a blond lady were walking through the park. All-of-a-sudden, the burnette stops and says "Awe, look at the poor dead birdy."
The blond looks up and says "Where!?"

A pregnant woman was on a bus. As the bus was going along, the woman started to give birth. An off-duty doctor rushed to her side and started to help her. He shouted to the rest of the bus, "Can someone help me?" Then towards the back of the bus a blond got up and smashed the back window. The doctor turned to her and said, "What did you do that for?" The blond replied, "Well it said on the window, In emergency, break glass."

One day a burnette and a blond lady were walking through the park. All-of-a-sudden, the burnette stops and says "Awe, look at the poor dead birdy." The blond looks up and says "Where!?"

A couple of blond men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blond men walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos. ”
The clerk said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you? ”
The man said, “I’ll go check, ” and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-fours. ”
“Alright. How long do you need them? ”
The customer paused for a minute and said, “I’d better go check. ” After awhile, the customer returned to the office and said, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house. ”