Blond Jokes / Recent Jokes
A little blond girl comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! It's good, innit?"
"Yes darling, very good."
"Is that because I'm blond?"
"Yes darling, it's because you're blond."
Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K! It's good "innit?"
"Yes darling, very good."
"Is that because I'm blond, mummy?"
"Yes darling it's because you're blond.
Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her impressive 36 D's at her mummy. "Is that because I'm more...
101. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
102. Q: How do blondes get pregnant?
A: And you thought blondes were dumb.
103. Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"
104. Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
105. Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
106. Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
107. Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.
108. Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.
109. Q: But more...
Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A: A divorcee
121. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
A: Not everybody has been in a limo.
122. Q: What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies?
A: One's a bunch a cunning runts. ..
123 Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
124. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
125. Q: What's the difference between a blond having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
126. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley?
A: The shopping trolley has a mind of its own!
127. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Suez Canal?
A: One's a busy ditch.
128. Q: What is the difference between a blond and a toilet?
A: A more...
So my sister, a natural blond graduating from the University of North Carolina Law School, is job hunting. I suggested that since Microsoft is building up their legal team, she should send them a resume and become a southern blond Microsoft lawyer - and be the butt of any joke on the internet.
There was a Blond and a Brunette on an airplane.
All of a sudden the engine blew and they started to crash!
There was only one parachute and a flashlight.
The Brunette grabbed the parachute and the flashlight and said to the blond, “Ok, This is a magic flashlight, I will shine it on the ground and you can slide down the beam of light! Then I will follow you with the parachute. ”
The blond looked at her sceptically and said, “Do you think I am that dumb? I know when I am halfway down you’re gonna turn it off! ”