Blond Jokes / Recent Jokes

One time I was on an airplane and and the pilot said were ready for takeoff and said we would be flying at 30, 000 feet tonight. I guess he forgot to turn off the microphone cause then I heard him say to his copilot "why dont you take over, im gonna take a nice healthy shit and fuck the brains out of the sexy blond flight attendant." All the sudden this blond started running down the isle but an elderly lady stopped him. She said "relax hunny, he has to shit first."

A blond goes up to a brunette that's wearing a puffy wig with two green ribbons on each front side.
The blond says "NICE CAT! HOW DID YOU GET IT TO BALANCE ON YOUR HEAD?"
The brunette tears up and says "ITS A WIG! MY FRIENDS TOLD ME IT WAS IN FASHION AND I GUESS THEY HATE ME!!!"
The brunette runs home and never noticed that she was talking to a blond. So in the end the brunette was a blond too.

A blond, brunette, and red-head were all stranded on an island. Suddenly one day a genie appeared and said that all three had one wish. The red-head wished to go home.

The brunette wished to go home too.

Finally the blond was all alone next to make her wish. The blond started to cry and said "I wish my two friends were back here with me!"

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered theelevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F" (letters only). He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T" (letters only)."She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly "T-G-I-F" another time. The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T."The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"The man answered, "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."

Q: What is the difference between the panama canal and a blond?
A: One is a busy ditch and the other is a dizy bitch.
Q: How are bob barker and lorena bobbit different?
A: One is a slick pricer and the other is a prick slicer
Q: How is a blond like a screen door?
A: The harder you slamm them the looser they become
Q: How do elephants hide in the jungle?
A: Paint there balls green and lay on their backs in a watermelon patch
Q: How did tarzan die?
A: Thumping watermelons
Q: How are a turtle and a blond similar?
A: Put them on their backs and they are phucked
Q: Why did the blond have a big belly button?
A: Her boyfriend was blond too!

One day there was this blond in the middle of a feild.
She was rowing a boat. So, this blond rides by in a car and said " It's Blondes
like you that make blondes like me look bad, and if I could swim I'd get out og
this car right now and kick you a**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q: A priest a smart blond and superman are standing on the empire state building, if they all jump at the same time, who lands first?
A: the priest, beacause superman and a smart blond dont exist:)