Blood Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, "I vould like some blood." The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some blood." The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some plasma." The waitress looks up and says, "Let me see if I have this order correct. You want two bloods and a blood light?"
Dolphins sleep with one eye open.
Bulls are color blind.
A cow's only sweat glands are in its nose.
Mosquitoes have 47 teeth.
The Poison Arrow frog has enough poison to kill 2,200 people.
Emus can't walk backwards.
A group of unicorns is called a blessing.
A group of kangaroos is called a mob.
A group of owls is called a parliament.
A group of ravens is called a murder.
A group of bears is called a sleuth.
Twelve or more cows is called a flink.
A baby oyster is called a spat.
Some fleas have split penises like a Y shape
An elephant can be pregnant for up to 2 years
Chickens can't swallow while they are upside down.
The average garden-variety caterpillar has 248 muscles in its head.
A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.
A mule won't sink in quicksand but a donkey will.
More people are killed annually by donkeys than in airplane crashes.
Animal breeders in Russia once claimed to have bred sheep with more...
A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend's caris total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend,"What's happened to your car?""Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer"."OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?""Well, I had to chase him all through the park."
Doctor: You and your wife have same blood group. Patient: Ye to hona hi tha 25 saal se mera khoon jopeerahi hai.
A fellow walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."
So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. A few minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."
So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room. Ten minutes later a nurse came in and asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."
So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
Fifteen minutes later the doctor came in and asked him what he had.
He said, "Shingles."
The doctor said, " Where?"
He said, " Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"
It was Halloween and three vampires went into a saloon and bellied up to the bar. "What will you have?" the bartender asked. "Ill have a glass of blood," the first replied. "Ill have a glass of blood, too, please," said the second. "Ill have a glass of plasma," said the third. "OK, let me get this straight," the bartender said. "Thatll be two bloods and a blood light?"