Blue Jokes / Recent Jokes
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them.""Thats the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
A biologist phones his wife from his office and says, "Honey, something has just come up, I realize its not my field season, but I have to visit my field site for a week. So, would you pack my clothes, my field equipment and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in 1 hour to pick them up."
A week later he returned. "Did you have a good trip, dear?" his wife asked.
"Oh, it was just a typical field trip, you know, work work work," he exclaimed, and added "But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
"No I didn't," she replied. "I put them in the box of field equipment!"
Fred: Knock, Knock...
Amy: Whos there???
Fred: Baby Blue
Amy: Baby Blue who???
Fred: MICHAEL JACKSON!!!
A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a considerable amount of whisky at a local pub. As he staggered down the road, he felt quite sleepy and decided to take a nap, with his back against a tree.
As he slept, two young lasses walked down the road and heard the Scotsman snoring loudly. They saw him, and one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt."
She boldly walked over to the sleeping man, raised his kilt, and saw what nature had provided him at his birth.
Her friend said, "Well, he has solved a great mystery for us, now! He must be rewarded!" So, she took a blue ribbon from her hair, and gently tied it around what nature had provided the Scotsman, and the two walked away.
Several minutes later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature, and walked around to the other side of the tree to relieve himself. He raised his kilt... and saw where the blue ribbon was more...
Judi was sitting at the defendant table while the state trooper was being cross-examined on the witness stand.
The lawyer asked, “When you stopped Judi, were your red and blue lights flashing? ”
“Yes, sir, they were. ”
“Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? ”
“Yes, sir, she did. ”
“And, ” looking at Judi, "what was it she said? ”
“She said, ‘What disco am I at? ’”
"I think I have a problem, Doc," says a patient. "One of my balls has turned blue."
The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes that the patient will die if he doesn't have his testicle removed.
"Are you crazy?!" bursts the patient. "How could I let you do such a thing to me!"
"You want to die?" asks the doctor rhetorically, at which point the patient has to agree to have his testicle removed.
Two weeks after the operation, the patient comes back. "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue, too."
Again, the doctor tells him that if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off, too. Again, the man is very reluctant to the idea.
"Hey, you want to die?" asks the doctor, and the patient has to agree with the operation. After two weeks of being testicle-less, the patient returns to the doctor and says, "I think something is very wrong with me. more...
A man phones home and tells his wife, "I have a chance to go fishing for a week.
It is the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away. So, if you could,
please pack my clothes, my fishing equipment and especially my blue silk
pyjamas. I will be home in an hour to pick them up."
He goes home in a hurry, grabs everything and rushes off.
A week later he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip, dear?"
He responds, "Oh yes, great! The fishing was fantastic! You would not believe
the size of one that I caught. The only thing is that you forgot to pack my blue
silk pyjamas."
His wife smiles and says, "Oh no, I did not. I put them in your tackle box!"