Blue Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man phones home from his office and tells his wife: "Something has just come up. I have a chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away. So pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."
He goes home in a hurry and grabs everything and rushes off.
A week later he returns.
His wife asks: "Did you have a good trip, dear?"
He says: " Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
His wife smiles and says, "Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box!"

Things not to Say When Hanging the Lights
Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three
most stressful situations in an on-going relationship? Our psychiatrist
claims the other two danger zones are teaching your mate to drive and
wallpapering. (He is rarely wrong on these things.)
We bring you this list of Things Not To Say When
Hanging Lights on the Christmas Tree.
"You've got two red lights right next to each other, dummy. You're supposed
to go yellow, green, red, blue, not yellow, red, red, green, blue..."
"Up a little higher. You can reach it. Go on, try."
"What the hell do you do to these lights when you put them away every year?
Tie them in knot?"
"Come away from that aluminum ladder, kids. I'm going to fry that sucker."
"If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all. Don't just throw
them on, like you do the icicles. You're worse than your more...

A man phones home from his office and tells his wife: "Something has just come up. I have a chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away. So pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."He goes home in a hurry and grabs everything and rushes off.A week later he returns.His wife asks: "Did you have a good trip, dear?"He says: " Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."His wife smiles and says, "Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box!"

A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."
He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off.
A week later he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?"
"Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
"Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."

A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. A week later he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?""Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas.""Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."

One day there was a boy at school and his teacher told him to get 4 spelling words.
1st he went to his Brother and asked "Could you give me a spelling word?" His Brother answered "ShutUp" So he wrote down Shutup.
2nd he went to his Mother and asked her. She answered "Certainly" He wrote down certinly.
3rd he wen to his Dad and asked for somthing sweet. His dad answered Lolipop so he wrote down Lolipop.
4th he went to his little brother and asked the question. He answered "In my Little Blue Car"
The next day he went to school and his teacher asked for the words. He said his 1st word Shutup. Then she asked "Do you want to go to the principles office?" He said is second word "Certainly". In the principals office the principal asked what do you think you deserve, the boy answered "Lolipop!!" Then the principal asked "What do you think your punishment should be?" The boy answered "To go more...

What is brown, black and blue was found lying in a ditch?
The last brunette that told a blonde joke in front of a blonde.