Blue Jokes / Recent Jokes

What is brown, black and blue was found lying in a ditch? The last brunette that told a blonde joke in front of a blonde.

Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue, and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like corn silk a-flapping in the breeze, softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, which excite me in May, you ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry, jist a-fry'n in the pan, yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.
You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud, I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms, well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man, to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a June bug a-buzzin' overhead, you ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel more...

What's blue and has big ears? An elephant at the North Pole!

Brussels Airlines is a Belgian airline based at Brussels Airport. It operates to over 50 destinations in 20 European countries, as well as long-haul flights to East, Central and West Africa. Brussels Airlines was created following the merger of SN Brussels Airlines (SNBA) and Virgin Express.

The logo the letter b in lower case, made up of a series of red elipses.
The "b" in a contemporary design style, symbolises both Brussels and Belgium.
In graphic terms, the "b" is made up of a series of ellipses that represent the extended network of the airline, as well as the ground lights on an airport runway.
The blue is a reminder of the values that are carried forward from SN Brussels Airlines while the red recalls the "low cost" colours of Virgin Express. In the airline sector, blue is generally reassuring and reliable while red is youthful and dynamic.
Most planes have an altered' b' logo after superstitious travellers complained more...

Two Southerners were having the blue plate special at their favorite
watering hole, when they heard an awful choking sound. They turned
around to see a lady, a few bar stools down, turning blue from wolfing
down a Specialty Burger too fast.
The first Southerner said to the other, "Think we otta hep?"
"Yep," said the second.
The First Southerner got up and walked over to the lady and asked,
"Kin yew breathe?"
She shook her head no.
"Kin yew speak?" he asked.
She again shook her head no.
With that he helped her to her feet, lifted up her skirt and licked
her on the butt. She was so shocked that she coughed up the
obstruction and began to breathe with great relief.
The First Southerner turned back to his friend and said, "Funny how
that there Hind Lick Maneuver works ever' time."

CINDY:I BET I CAN MAKE YOU SAY BLACK!
RYAN:HOW?
CINDY:OK. WHATS THE COLOR OF THE AMERICAN FLAG.
RYAN:RED, WHITE AND BLUE.
CINDY:I TOLD YOU I CAN MAKE YOU SAY BLUE.
RYAN:PUT YOU SAID BLACK.
CINDY:HA, GOT YA!

A woman goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband's funeral. She tells the director that she wants her husband to be buried in a dark blue suit.

He asks, "Wouldn't it just be easier to bury him in the black suit that he's wearing?"

But she insists that it must be a blue suit and gives him a blank check to buy one.

When she comes back for the wake, she sees her husband in the coffin and he is wearing a beautiful blue suit. She tells the director how much she loves the suit and asks how much it cost.

He says, "Actually, it didn't cost anything. The funniest thing happened. As soon as you left, another corpse was brought in, this one wearing a blue suit. I noticed that they were about the same size, and asked the other widow if she would mind if her husband were buried in a black suit. She said that was fine with her. So... I switched the heads."