Boasting Jokes

A Japanese man was boasting about how his country had such advanced medical technology. He said, "We take the lungs out of a man, perform an operation, put the lungs back in, and in 4 weeks, the man is looking for work." An Englishman said, "We are far more advanced than you. We can take the heart out of a man, perform surgery and have him ready for work in just 3 weeks." The Irishman says, "That's nothing; we can take a kidney out of a man, put into another man's body and have them looking for work in 2 weeks." The American says, "Well hell, that's nothin'. We had an idiot taken out of Texas, put in the Whitehouse and now half the country is lookin' for work!"

Two friends Santa Singh and Banta Singh, were always boasting of their parents' achievements to each other.
Santa Singh: "Have you heard of the Suez Canal?"
Banta Singh: "Yes, I have."
Santa Singh: "Well, my father dug it."
Banta Singh: "That's nothing. Have you heard of the Dead Sea?"
Santa Singh: "Yes, I have."
Banta Singh: "Well, my father killed it."

They’re boasting about race records
Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them! ”Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!! ”"Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28! ”, says another, flicking his tail. At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. “I don’t mean to boast, ” Says the greyhound, “but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them! ”The horses are clearly amazed. “Wow! ” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog. ”

Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. "Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.""Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle.""What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other off hand, "just our medals."

TWO wives were boasting of their husband's prowess at football. Said one, "Once my husband kicked the ball so high that it took four hours for it to fall back to the earth."
"What of that," retorted the other. "Once my husband kicked it so hard that it took it four days to return to earth. With it there was a note reading: If this ball is again kicked upto the moon, it will not be returned."