Boasting Jokes / Recent Jokes

TWO wives were boasting of their husband's prowess at football. Said one, "Once my husband kicked the ball so high that it took four hours for it to fall back to the earth."
"What of that," retorted the other. "Once my husband kicked it so hard that it took it four days to return to earth. With it there was a note reading: If this ball is again kicked upto the moon, it will not be returned."

Two men were boasting to each other about their old army
days. "Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that
when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap,
click."
"Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company
presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."
"What was the jingle?" asked the first.
"Oh," replied the other off hand, "just our medals."

Once two friends were boasting about themselves. Santa Singh: Once my granfather's wrist- watch fell in the well. When it was taken out after thirty years it was still running.
Banta Singh: So what's great about it! Once my grandfather himself fell into the well. When he taken out afer thirty years he was still alive.
Santa Singh: How can it be possible. What was he doing in the well for thirty years?
Banta Singh: Why not! He was winding your granfather's wrist-watch.

They’re boasting about race records
Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them! ”Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!! ”"Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28! ”, says another, flicking his tail. At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. “I don’t mean to boast, ” Says the greyhound, “but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them! ”The horses are clearly amazed. “Wow! ” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog. ”

Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other.
Santa singh: ' Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?'
Banta singh: ' Yes, I have'
Santa singh: ' Well, my father dug it.'
Banta singh: ' That's nothing, have you ever heard of Deadsea?'
Santa singh: ' Yes, I have.'
Banta singh: ' Well, my father killed it.'

An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat.
"My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?"
"Yes," said the Navy brat.
"My dad has built them."
Then the naval kid spoke: "And do you know the Dead Sea?"
"Yes."
"It's my dad who's killed it!"

Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.
"Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click."
"Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."
"What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."