Bodies Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Two Seater Plane Crashed In A Graveyard. .......

Local Sardars Have So Far Found 500 Bodies And Are Still..... Digging For More.

After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away. They agree and the pastor greets the family."Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust.""That's right, Johnny, I did.""And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust.""Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you ask?""Well you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed' cause there's someone either comin' or goin'!"

After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away. They agree and the pastor greets the family. “Pastor, ” Johnny says, “I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust. ” “That’s right, Johnny, I did. ” “And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust. ” “Yes, I’m glad you were listening. Why do you ask? ” “Well you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed ’cause there’s someone either comin’ or goin’! ”

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his
predicament.
Dear Bubba,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the lot for me.
Love Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
For heaven's sake, dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the BODIES!
Love Bubba
At 4 the next morning, F.B.I. agents and local police
showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under more...

Cartoon Law I
Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.
Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair,
soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar
principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over.
Cartoon Law II
Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly.
Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in
their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward
motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge's
surcease.
Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.
Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of
directed-pressure explosions more...

Festivity Level One
Your guests are sitting around chatting, nibbling the party food, sipping their drinks. They are admiring your Christmas tree ornaments and stand around the piano singing carols.
Festivity Level Two
Your guests are talking loudly, occasionally to one another. They are wolfing down the food, gulping their drinks, rearranging your Christmas ornaments and sitting on the piano singing "I Gotta Be Me."
Festivity Level Three
Your guests are holding conversations with inanimate objects, gulping other peoples' drinks, wolfing down Christmas ornaments and dancing around the piano shouting the words to "I Can't Get No Satisfaction".
Festivity Level Four
Your guests, food smeared across their naked bodies, are capering around the burning Christmas tree in some unholy ritual. The piano is missing.
Unless you rent your home, or own heavy firearms, you generally don't want your parties operating above Level Three. The true test more...

"Seikh Community whose names carry the Surname' Singh' are referred to as "Sardarjis". There are lots of jokes about' Sardarjis' and here is one.
3 Dead Bodies
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to show them what has happened.
First Body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile inspector", says the Coroner.
Second Body: "Stotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds from a lottery, spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.
Third Body: Sardarji, 30 struck by lightning.
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one".
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his picture taken"