Bollywood Jokes / Recent Jokes

Rules for making INDIAN Movies
1. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will
- die
- join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.
2. If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savegely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).
3. Any court scene will have the dialogue
"Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be sustained. Else, it will be overruled.
4. The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i. e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.
5. In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.
6. When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will
never
- miss
- run out of bullets.
When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is more...

Pyar To Hona Hi Tha:

Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl, little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside.

Rangeela:

Aamir Khan tells his friend that he will take Urmila Matondkar for a Chinese meal. Strangely when they are in the restaurant, Aamir Khan orders usal pav etc. What's happened to the noodle & chowmein?

Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi:

Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight to America. Well well - some promotion for our Indian Jet Airways - since when did they start flying abroad?

Raja Hindustani:

Navneet Nishan has a short hair before marriage. But after tying the knot, overnight she acquires waist-length hair. What a hair raising experience!!

Raja:

Dilip Tahil empties a can of petrol over Madhuri. Minutes later, Sanjay Kapoor takes the same can and pours it over Dilip Tahil. more...

1. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will
a) die
a) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.

1. If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).

1. Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be sustained. Else, it will be overruled.

1. The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i. e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the first 30 minutes, and commit suicide.

1. In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.

1. When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
a) run out of bullets.
When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to more...

Brussels Airlines is a Belgian airline based at Brussels Airport. It operates to over 50 destinations in 20 European countries, as well as long-haul flights to East, Central and West Africa. Brussels Airlines was created following the merger of SN Brussels Airlines (SNBA) and Virgin Express.

The logo the letter b in lower case, made up of a series of red elipses.
The "b" in a contemporary design style, symbolises both Brussels and Belgium.
In graphic terms, the "b" is made up of a series of ellipses that represent the extended network of the airline, as well as the ground lights on an airport runway.
The blue is a reminder of the values that are carried forward from SN Brussels Airlines while the red recalls the "low cost" colours of Virgin Express. In the airline sector, blue is generally reassuring and reliable while red is youthful and dynamic.
Most planes have an altered' b' logo after superstitious travellers complained more...

Film director ne hiro se kaha - tumko 100 fit ki uchai se swiming pool me chhalang lagani hai.
Hero- lekin mujhe tairna nahi ata, mai dub jaunga.
Director- chinta wali koi baat nahi hai, pool me pani nahi hai.

Ramu`s rivalry with Karan Johar reached a new high after Raavan`s release, with Ramu suggesting `Aag` series for Karan`s movies!
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Teacher: What is your name?
Student: Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.
Teacher: When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.
Student: My name is Sunlight.
Teacher: What is your name?.
Student: My name is Beautiful Red Underwear
Teacher: What kind of a name is this? Don`t joke tell me the right name
Student: My name is Sunderlal Chadda.
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhiji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
Teacher: What is the full form of maths?
Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students.