Bomb Jokes / Recent Jokes
After having their 10th child, an Arkansas couple decided that was enough.
So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor told the man that he was to go home, get a cherry bomb, put it in a can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Arky said to the doctor "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a can next to my ear is going to help me."
So the couple drove to Missouri to get a second opinion. The doctor was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed they were from Arkansas. This doctor also told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, place it in a tin can, hold it next to his ear and count to 10.
Figuring that both doctors couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a can. He held more...
Two CBS news crewmen were killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq on Sunday. The group claiming responsibility for the bomb issued an apology, saying, "We thought they were from Fox."
An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.(Laurence J. Peter)
A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. (Charles R. Darwin) A topologist is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a more...
Man: Officer! There is bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
An adult is a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
A cannibal is someone who is fed up with people.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there.
A topologist is a someone who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and doughnut.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a more...
Two terrorists were driving their Maruti to the spot where they intended to place their bomb. The one in driver's seat looked very worried. "Natha, what happens if the bomb we have on the back seat blows up before we get to the site?"
"Not to worry," replied Natha, "I have a spare one in my attache case."
Man: officer! There is bomb in my garden. Officer: don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.